cannedsardine - d

moved

2009-05-14T00:56:00.005+08:00

I've permanently MOVED.

2009-05-10T16:23:00.001+08:00

MOVED.
but will only give out the url after i change it.
will be keeping the blog, because it hold lots of memories.
gtg now.

2009-05-03T02:31:00.002+08:00

this time, this date, mark a great difference in my life.

i lost md hafiz bin md abdoh on 29 apr. yes my b'day. in the canteen.

i was a disgrace to him, i'm sorry.

i didn't ask for it, aku burukkan name kau, kan? aku mintak maaf.

i lost an, afiq and mamat today.

maybe not afiq, and maybe not an, fully,

but mamat ended the friendship between me and him.

all three of them dislike who i'm with.

mamat did stupid thing because of me.

i'm sorry - i didn't mean to hurt you. but mat, mat lagi sakitkan hati shasha,

sebab mamat tak tepati janji mamat kat shasha.

mamat, sorry if i was harsh. but i standed up for my own happiness.

mamat taknak shasha happy ker?

goodluck in everything kay mat. jangan lupe aku.

i believe he can change, you must believe in me.

i don't want to loss anyone anymore.

please?

ps: i'm still moving page. url yet to be confirmed.

2009-04-26T20:25:00.008+08:00

has already shifted blog, but my blog isn't yet ready.

will tell only some people about my new blog.

i cried today in the car,

i cried yesterday in the toilet,

i cried in the bus,

i cried in my dreams,

i cried this morning,

i cried bcos i'm hurted.

thanks.

anyway, happy b'lated b'day fyra ^^,

you and mohammad azri b. ismail looked sweet together,

last long :')

wednesday coming ^^,

omg. so old, boo~

i want to thank an & afiq.

the best people on earth ^^,

nak dikaterkan, the only bunch i can depend on.

2009-04-21T23:20:00.001+08:00

I just can't forget you, and those kisses.
Come back to me once more, i want us to be like the past,
how we used to be, so loving, so tendering <3 >
forget about what had happen to us, come to where we belong now.
I know, we'll be together again, to last our moment.

NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!

i'm moving soon. this blog holds a lot of memories,

yet, i need to move on.

nak delete sayang, so simpan,

but i promise myself, not to look back.

bye.

2009-04-14T00:32:00.003+08:00

I read through my "history";

every post have you in it.

I MISS THE PAST,

VERY VERY MUCH.

i want you back. i rindu you rabak. sigh.

2009-04-13T17:18:00.005+08:00

♪ Let me know - NLT

And I don't want nobody else
They don't understand
That I gave away my heart
The moment that I shook your hand
Don't let me in the dark
Let this blind over my eyes
And if you don't feel the same
Is everything we have a lie?

Let me know if you love me
Let me know if you care
Let me know you're thinking of me
When I can't be there
Let me know if you miss me
Call me up sometimes
I don't wanna go but
Boy you gotta let me know

Miss me? No/Yes? Wait, do I look like I care? No. haha. I should be doing my assignment right now, but I am totally freaked out. Like I've said somewhere in my plurk - if I could buy time, I would have spent a lot on it. I need time.

My head is giving me headaches. My heart is giving me heartaches, ceh. No -.- Anyways, since my disappearance, lots of things happened. Something just started, something just ended. Even if I were to summaries everything, it'll take more than a day, because too many thing happened. Too many. Be it good or bad, it happened.

- Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.

Found this phrase in 3T1 classroom. It made me reflect. I feel like creating a post for my sayangs ♥ Betari Diani. We've grew sooooo much within a year. Soon alright :') I'm missing the everyday-training-days already. Sigh.

Plus, I still cannot move on. I don't know why is it so hard. I may not cry for him already, but I still do think about him everyday, relate things to him. Taking care of R, K and A on Saturday reminds me a lot about ECP. Whateverlah. Kau pergi dengan tu perempuan okay, jantan?

Okay, I'm loss, suddenly. Every time I mention your name, my mood will run wild. Why? Sigh. And I don't feel like updating anymore. Bye! Homeworks waiting.

come back fast, please?

2009-04-05T23:03:00.003+08:00

tag to be link, lost all the links.
i burned my finger while cooking.
and have yet to pack my bag.
in addition, im sick.
i told you NOT to put too much hope on me.
you don't have to tell the whole world i'm not replying.
i don't like the idea of one critising my close friend.
i don't want to move on, i guess.
no i do want to.
I'M NOT READY!
what afiq and an said was both true.
i'm confuse.
bye!

I'm not trying to be harsh, but if telling you from the start don't work, than what other way can get it in?

big day tomorrow. hope to bring glory. have yet to pack my bag and iron my costume. chiow.

SHYT! I accidentally send the message I saved as draft. goodness -.-

nvm. sooner or later, you'll find out.

unorganised post.

2009-03-20T19:55:00.010+08:00

[music] Ceritaku - Revalina
Di malam ini , Di Waktu ini
Ku masih terkenang dirimu
Biarpun tiada kau disisi , diriku .
Senyumanmu , raut wajah mu
Membuatku terus merindumu
Biarpun kau meninggalkan aku , cintaku .

Ku cuba tanpamu disisi
Ku cuba tanpa hidup denganmu
Meskipun ku tak mampu lupakan mu , kasihku .
Ku cuba tanpamu dihati
Ku cuba berhenti merindukan mu
Ternyata tiada pengganti dirimu , selamanya .

Sedetik ini , ketika ini
Ku masih memikirkan mu
Dimanakah dirimu kini , gadisku .
Andai aku , ulangi lagi
cerita aku dengan kamu
Takkan ku menyakiti hatimu , bintangku .

Ku cuba tanpamu disisi
Ku cuba tanpa hidup denganmu
Meskipun ku tak mampu lupakan mu , kasihku .
Ku cuba tanpamu dihati
Ku cuba berhenti merindukan mu
Ternyata tiada pengganti dirimu , selamanya .
Kini . . . .

Pictures during R's party. Faiz camera when haywire, and all the photos were deleted. He could only save and recover this much, sad huh? All those solo pictures are gone, plus the picture that Tony took beside me that have flying bright light in between, gone too. Nevermind. You won't understand.

I'm all alone in Jurong. (sob) They'll went shisha-ing, while I'm here, alone. haha. ceh. Actually Sarep asked me to follow, but I had something on is school, but it ended way earlier than expected, that I head back home super duper early than usually. So bored. Done with biology homework, left with some pathetic english oral questions, oh, plus tuition homework. Did some already.

Currently chatting on msn. It's like, everything about him. I know it isn't worth the crying, but it isn't as simple too. Soo much we've been thru, but he choose his dear-dear no. one favourite ex over me. Fine with me, I don't mind, but what's the reason for that? I thought I could chance you to a better person, now I don't even stand a chance to look at you. Fine, I'm out of your way. Go grab her while you can. Don't make her wait like you did before, 'cause you'll never know when she's leaving. Just like how you did to me. I wish you the best.

Biology SPA was alright. I think I did pretty well. Hopefully, no marks deducted. I don't know, but my graph was a little screwed. lol. Never good at graph.

I don't know what to write. My mind is blank. My heart still hurts. It isn't the year for me to go haywire with all this crap you know. I need to spend more time on other important thing - studies. I don't know. Just now right, I was suppose to attend a performance in school, soooooo, while waiting for a reply from Syayie and Jiliah that took ages 'cos she didn't recieved my message, something happened.

A typical poser guy came up to me and said he wanted to be my friend.
I give him my farking sotong look.
Step message people.
He asked who am I waiting for.
I said my friend.
A guy?
Ah. [actually i didn't hear what he said, i just ah kan jek.]
HAHAHA.
Then he said sorry and left macam orang gila.
Was still waiting for Syayie and Jil.
Dah badi, message belo.
Belo marah 'cos I still refuse to go back. [insisted on waiting]
He came back from behind. [semangat tawaf, lol]
Step tak nampak, then rolled my eyes. HAHA.
Then he walked away, macam takder motive an? o.0
Walked to school, and saw him at the bus stop!
He was staring at me - scared.
I told him I'm meeting guy what.
Got to know he has some mental issue.
Lagi takut - lol.
Cannot enter school, because I was in home clothes. [bodoh tol!]
Syayie and Irka did "their thing" and _|_ that guy upside down for me.
I couldn't stop laughing.
Daring eh? lol.
Thankfully Ms Ng saved the day and I could enter school w/o being send home, alone. [mati taknak balik sorang.]

What a day. I think, I've chance. Not loud anymore. haha. Scary alright.

I badly want to learn how to play guitar, after o's maybe? And I need cash. hmm. Cannot help seeing my wallet empty. Nevermind. besuk ader.

Bak kater pepatah, sepandai-pandai tupai melompat, akhirnya jatuh ke tanah jua. Tol tak tol? I've long awaited, but I still don't want to get myself involved. IYERLAH, PAT BURUK SUMENYER AKU. Kau jek lah yang bagus, kau jek lah yang hebat, yang innocent, kan? MUKE INNOCENT PERANGAI NONSENCE BUAT APE! Kau susah kau cari aku, kau senang kau bbl belakang? Macam aku tak biase gitukan. Too bad ah, aku nak bilang kau satu nih, kau peh acting dah tak work on aku. Maybe on other, but aku dah lali dengan perangai kau yang suke bbl belakang. Tak banyak ah, tepuk tangan saje! haha. Kankankan?Aku penyabar. Takper. I'm used to it, and I'm not as loud as before, I just let things go as that, 'cos I believe everyone deserves a "second" chance [dah bukan second sak nih], tol tak tol? But undeniable, I still felt hurted. Apapelah. Now you lost the trust, pepandai gain it back. Good luck! You'll need it, very very much :) LEPAS NIH KALAU YOU NAK GI BUAT MULUT LAGI, GI ARH! Kite tenguk siape boleh hidup okay? haha. Aku sudah terang dah biase, kau?

Ambil kau obat. Tulah, fikir hebat sangatkan. haha. Okay dah. Eh, things getting complicated. Semalam belo, today Asyraaf. Tomorrow siape? hahaha. Okay dah. Extra pulak. For now, kite tenguk siape last the longest *winks

kenapa ____ patah balik pt ____ ? leaving u w/o any reason ? heartless man !
- If only I knew, I won't be in this state right now.

2009-03-16T20:29:00.008+08:00

[music] Masih Cinta - Kotak
tik tik tik
waktu berdetik tak mungkin bisa ku hentikan
maumu jadi mauku pahit pun itu ku tersenyum
kamu tak tahu rasanya hatiku saat berhadapan kamu

tik tik tik
air mataku biar terjatuh dalam hati
mauku tak penting lagi biar ku buat bahagiamu
kamu tak tahu rasanya hatiku saat berhadapan kamu
kamu tak bisa bayangkan rasanya jadi diriku yang masih cinta

kamu tak tahu rasanya hatiku saat berhadapan kamu
kamu tak bisa bayangkan rasanya jadi diriku yang masih cinta

I like this boy. Watched Idola Cilik 2, Indonesian talent show, and I was amazed by how talented is their top three. I like this boy, very cute. The other boy, has a very good voice. Next time lah okay ^^. And the last finalist is a girl. She's good too. It don't look like a talent competition show, but to me, just a normal show put up for others to watch.

13 March 2009 - Friday
Second Friday the 13rd huh? But both Friday the 13rd don't seem to be a 'bad luck day' to me thought. The first one, had fire drill, thus no biology test, this time, cross country, though Andes losses our championship too Rockies, I was satisfied with myself. Last year, I didn't managed to come in to 10, neither top 20. I came in top 100. Disappointing. I expected a lot. So this year, I aimed high, set target for myself. No more making excuses that I'm sick and sort, excuses are plain excuses. I'm not sure what position I came in, but I managed to run ahead of those that I thought I won't manage to overtake.

Ziana, sorry eh tak tunggu, or I left you first. 'Cause I ajaked her to stand in front and run with me, but I think once bitten, twice shy. I don't want to loss to her like how I did during Andes try out at the stadium. LOL. I managed to cross the finishing line by 19.++ minutes for 3.2km. Unexpected. And Shiykin within 14.++ minutes. Sumpah, ape kau makan kin? hahaha.

Pictures up, anyways, kalau picture masai, forgive forget. Uneditted, and some picture - you can see sweat tricking down my face. After 3.2km run + very hot weather = ??? hahaha. And look at others lah, I look horribly fat and bald -_______-" hahah! Pictures start from the bottom.

Ceh. hah!

"Hey, I put some new shoes on,
And suddenly everything is right,
I said, hey, I put some new shoes on and everybody's smiling,
It's so inviting."
hahaha!

Smelly. haha.

After run, Shiykin's sexy legs!

Best. Look look (!) hahaha.

Disappointed, totally.

Fat!

Candid.

Grab from Cynthia. Cikgu takmu sad-sad.

Sumpah tak ready.

-_________-"

This suppose to be the first picture, but what the heck.

After cross country, MANS plus Siddique and Nas had branch at Jp, LJS. Walk around a little, and head back home. I was suppose to meet Mamat, but I end up canceling my plan because I was too lethargic and rather stay home and rest.

14 March 2009 - Saturday
Normal head to school, tarian stuff. Every week loh. No tuition, so I thought I would be a stay home day, but An texted me saying his plan was canceled. Met him and Aria @ kfc and then head off to Mamat's void deck. Did my amaths. Managed to do the homeworks, satisfying ^^.

Head back home late. Was bullied by R. Ader Mamat kater sweet? -.- It isn't my money, so my reaction was that way lah. Sakit hati.

15 March 2009 - Sunday
Woken up early by mum. Dad drove us to Pasir Ris. Kak Daya's father-in-law passed away. Inallilah. I realised my father's side all very katek. haha. Cute. Then head Parkway Parade. First brother and dad brought 2 G200 smart long sleeve each. grr~ I wanted to ask mum for the levi's long sleeve, but, tak jadi. Had heavy lunch @ banquet. Then first brother bought a pair of slipper and another smart short sleeve shirt from animals. Then my turn to shop. *grin* Bought three shirts from cotton on ^^. Mum gave me green light to ... Never mind. Was very happy alright. I just need to get one thing, then I can go hurray hurray. huahuahua. I wanted to purchase the cloths with my own money, when my mum hand out some cash, happy? Sudah pasti. Bought famous amos for Raudah, again, mum insisted on paying.

Dad drove all of us back to Jp. I need to meet some friends there. They continued their shopping session, but I have a party to attend to. It's okay. Faiz and Syafiq were super dy-duper late alright (!) Train down to Pasir Ris, and we [Shiykin and myself] got a sit few station to Pasir Ris. Sad much?

Reached Pasir Ris > toilet > bus to chalet.

Afterall, it ended on a lighter note. Had fun camwhoring, running around, playing with swings and ball, laughing away, and screaming in the toilet. HAHAHA. Reached home around an hour to midnight, and terus pengsan.

*pictures tomorrow - when faiz send it to me.

Happy 16th Birthday Raudah :]
I hope you enjoy the lolli cookie, plus I doubt the tabong will do any good,
since you recieved 3 piggy banks.
Enjoy your new laptop.
Never seen you so hyper. LOL.

16 March 2009 - Monday
School today. From 0900 to 0400. A lot of talking done. lol. Another day tomorrow. Homework not yet down. Tuition tomorrow. Bye2! I want to turn in now. Sleepy. Waking up early tomorrow to finish up biology maybe? Idk. See how. Procastination kills!

Don't worry, you're still in my mind all the time. I see you everytime I check my phone.

Nih macam cakap adil per? Isap.

2009-03-12T21:14:00.006+08:00

[music] It's Over by Jesse McCartney
'Cause I'm not comin' back I'm closing the door
I used to be trippin' over missin' you but I'm not anymore
I got the picture phone but baby your picture's gone
Couldn't stand to see your smile every time you dialed

'Cause it's over
Girl you know it's over this time
So when you call I'm pressin' seven
Don't wanna hear your messages messages
I'm tryn to erase you from my mind
'Cause it's over
I swear girl it's over this time
So don't keep callin' leavin' messages
Don't wanna know where you been
Baby 'cause it's over

Yes. I changed my blogskin already. It's still purple. I can't seem to fix the alignment problem, so I decided to change it all over again. What ever lah. Afterall, simplicity is still the best, don't you agree? So yeah. The song tells it all, it's over.

After telling Syayie some parts of the story, I felt a little better. Thinking about it now, makes me, sad. Do you believe that when you think too much about a thing or two, it may get a little disturbing to yourself, that it haunt you in your dream? I believe so, why?

I was soo disturbed that I've been failing my subjects especially Maths that was a subject I used to love a lot, that mum has been nagged about my unwise time management, dad asking me when it's the time to stop all this commitment for CCA, and you know, my screwed up other part of life.

I suddenly woke up in the middle of the morning, near four (?), and I was dumbfounded. I felt my cheek wet. I cried. I dreamt that Mr K announced to the whole school about my bad grades. Not once, but trice I think? Can't remember. Then my parents nagging about same old thing - studies obviously. And obviously, seeing both of them together. After I woke up and found my pillow wet, I sat on my bed, continued crying. I just couldn't help it. Traumatizing. Everything that you're been worried/confused/sad about haunt you all at one night. Scary. I didn't get much of sleep after that. Thankfully, I slept in the afternoon, and it helped me to stay awake in school today.

Got my Amaths paper back, obviously, zero. I handed in a piece of blank paper. Not even a fullscap attached to it, I don't even know how to start (!) I'm trying my very best. So far, tuition has helped me to understand the previous question. Chill Mr K, I'm trying. I did give up, but somehow, I find Amaths fun. FOR NOW ONLY. I'm getting my confidence and interest in Maths again. I want to ace it, who doesn't? For now, I'm looking for Chems tutor, -.-" Asik nak tanya An, tak tanya-tanya.

Tomorrow is cross country, at Japanese/Chinese garden. I don't like -.- I want MacRithie. What ever lah. I want achieve something, semalam dah tak go high jump. hahaha. I thought it was in school, and by the time I realised that it was held at the stadium too, I was the only participant left in school, so I rather kpo-kpo in physics class, than to come late. haha. Belo kan? Pape. I also rather run and scream, thanks to a moth. Imagine lah kay, I was about to switch on the lights and fans, and by the side, right if front of me, there was a huge moth okay. Lagi, classroom was so dark, first glaze, I thought it was a bat. Gelap kan! Very belo -.- Dah satu pekik, lain semua join in. haha. Funny.

Post very the tonggang terbalik. What ever lah. Okay don't know who many times "what ever lah" appeared, but who cares. I have to burn malaydance song now, actually dah pun. Okay bye. Want to watch TV.

once i fall in love with someone,
it's hard for me to move on.
it will never fade easily,
jealously will still remain.
how i will you were still mine,
just like the past.

Isn't as easy.

2009-03-09T20:15:00.002+08:00

[music] Nafasku - Taufik Batisah

Kasihmu
Di luar jangkaanku
Sulit rasanya hidupku tanpamu
Usah kau pergi jauh

Aku berjanji
Cintamu ku bawa mati
Tak inginku mula cerita baru
Diriku teruntuk kamu

Setiap nafasku
Berpesan padamu
Jangan pernah
Tinggalkan diriku

Sentiasa hadir
Di jalan hidupku
Yakini cintaku
Untuk kamu

Aku menanti
Ketibaan hari itu
Saatnya kau mengucap cinta sejati
Dua menjadi satu

Aku mengerti
Kata-kataku percuma
Hingga tiba suatu masa
Semuakan menjadi nyata

Setiap nafasku
Berpesan padamu
Jangan pernah
Tinggalkan diriku

Sentiasa hadir
Di jalan hidupku
Yakini cintaku
Hanya untukmu

Sentiasa hadir
Di jalan hidupku
Yakini cintaku
Untuk kamu

Untuk kamu ku serah segala
Untuk kamu ku beri bahagia
Untuk kamu ku janji setia
Untuk kamu...

Aku berjanji
Cintamu ku bawa mati
Tak inginku mula cerita baru
Semuanya untuk kamu

Period. I don't want to talk about you anymore. It hurts more than it looks like. Yes, I felt what you felt for nine months already, happy? What is nine months, compare it to thirteen months. hmm. I think it's more than enough to make me cry right before your eyes. If I'm strong enough, I'll bare with the pain and stick through all this, but if I'm not, I don't know. Karma?

" Dulu dia tunggu shasha, sekarang shasha pulak kene tunggu dia. "

I'm having serious stomach cramp since yesterday. It went away during school, but came back now -.-" I rather be in school than at home. Atleast I don't think about him. I had fun during PE. I laugh at the slightest mistake everyone did. I laughed till I sat on the carpark floor. I laughed till I cried, I laugh like nobody's business. Happy tears rolled down, just like under Mat's block, before you came. sigh. I feel like killing An. sigh. Very nicely, my diary, is now left with one page. Last update there, then maybe I'll burn it away? Or keep it as some hurting memory? Have yet to decide.

I think my parents sent my poor phone for repairment already. Not sure, but hadn't seen my phone the whole day. Does it makes a different? Absolutely, no. With or without it, I still don't hear any ringing. Now, I don't mind having all the messages erased. Hell to all of it.

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go.
Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right.
You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

ps: I canceled out you name that is drawn at the back of my fullscap.

2009-03-08T14:11:00.002+08:00

[music] Forget about me - Little Bit
Wish that I
Could move on
Can't let go
It's too strong
Just like that
And then you're gone
Is this how
You wanted it to be
Everything you had to say
Sent the tears
Right down my face
Now I'm trying to escape
The misery

WARNING : this post, aku bbl dengan diri sendiri.

A quick update because I'm going down, literally. To a wedding under my void deck. Yesterday is the most unluckiest day of my life. In a way or other, I hate that what An told me is a fact, fact cannot be change, but why? Sigh. In sequence why yesterday sucks :

I have no mood for tarian, somehow yesterday, I feel so suckish that I cannot accept critism that suppose to improve me. Suck.
My handphone created problem and it went blank one second, then okay the other. Suck-er.
Met An and I was late, and my handphone went blank, totally blank! Ass!
Exchanged memory stick with Mamat's uncle or whoever he is, and his memory stick like super pathetic 'cause got no song, no nothing. My picture all he delete, bodoh! Takut kene marah matair, beh nak lagu aku. I will only get back my memory stick back next week. Not heading down today. Buat sakit hati saja yah.
An told me something.
I thought I was strong.
I broke down at nbp.
Mat brought down guitar, and I poured more.
An asked me to control, I did, until ..
I couldn't take it. Pretend nothing happened.
Otw back home, my haivanas sandals putus (!)

Ccb right yesterday? Fucking unlucky day. I hate it. I promised An to move on. tsk. Bukan senang alright, but what's the use if it ain't worth the pain? Idklah. Easy said than done. nbcb. Geramnyer. Belo sak. An kate karma. Dulu dulu ah, kay pape. Tak pasal. Tak kesah. Kite hidup takleh depend on orang lain, sebab orang lain tak semestinyer perlukan kite macam mane kite perlukan dia. Kalau dia boleh turn his back on me, then I should just turn and walk away right? Tak tau.

Aku dah tak berani nak look at your direction, what more into your eyes, kau sial. Okay nak mandi, nak keluar. kau sial. Hidup harus banyak bersabar.

The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else.

somewhat, somehow :

2009-03-05T22:33:00.000+08:00

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Losing Someone You love affection and the people in your life more than anything. Your greatest fear is that one day someone you care about won't be there anymore. You are a very friendly and inviting person, who draws in a lot of friendships with your kind, considerate, and loyal nature. However, deep down you are slightly insecure and unsure of yourself. You couldn't deal with it if you didn't have one of your loved ones in your life anymore. You don't have too much to worry about though, because with a friend like you, no one will want to lose you either!
Commitment
Being Alone
Looked down on
Where Your life is Going
Disappointment
Death
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

unappreciated

2009-03-05T20:14:00.006+08:00

[music] Broken Strings by James Morrison ft. Nelly Furtado
Oh it tears me up
I try to hold on, but it hurts too much
I try to forgive, but it’s not enough to make it all okay

You can’t play on broken strings
You can’t feel anything that your heart don’t want to feel
I can’t tell you something that ain’t real
Oh the truth hurts
And lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before

I only have one high point this week. Well, atleast I have one this week. That is obviously, I'm proud to be Andesian. Very very proud. This year is my last year, I hope to participate and contribute in anyway. For now, I've gain some points for Andes. Even though not top 3 for 800m, I got three point for Andes. lol. And ironically, for 4 by 400m, we got in 3rd, and obviously, I'm the third runner. Super unexpected. We're obviously leading, I want it to stay this way. Pizza treat tomorrow, yes ah! Hopefully, we get the House of The Year title again, sweaping all three major events. Insya allah. Cross country next Friday, super scary.

My brother didn't get in top 3 for 400m, a little disappointed, but good job little brother. I feel like chopping his legs, super long, super jealous! Was disappointed in Fiz and Zai too. Belo!~

Me : *walk to little brother, gave him water and towel to wipe his face*
Mr Soh : Your brother?
Me : Yes, my brother.
Mr Soh : *look @ bro, look @ me x2*
Me : I know he's only Sec 1 and already same height as me (!)
Mr Soh : *laugh*

Yaya. Whatever, so what? Ish. Geramnyer (!)

Afterall, it is worth it getting misunderstood by mum yesterday, it is worth it rushing all over yesterday, it's all worth it to somehow, trouble my mum. haha! Okay, not on purpose though. I rushed mum and dad to pick me up after school in front of school gate. Neh~ I already told mum I end school at 3.30 okay, but she thought I had CCA yesterday and die-die wanted me to leave school by 3. Eh, I still having Physics lesson leh -.- I recieved 7 smses and 7 miss calls. What's up with 7? Anyway, it was irritating to have your phone vibration during your fav. lesson [somehow lah] okay! So, I was a little rude to mum once I saw her outside the gate. Mintak ampun, mintak maaf!

Sent second brother to BBDC, and then dad drove us back to Jp to get my running shoe. Heh. Semangat right? And fishcake, no size! So I just anyhow took a shoe that is one and half size bigger, since mum is rushing for work. Mum paid for my shoe, save duit! Makaseh bu ^^ Bought delifrance before mum leaving without taking the change -.- Dad then drove me home and head back for work. I was left home, alone. Boohoo~ I slept the whole day.

Worth the pain right, if I managed to improve from 8 position to 6 position this year? Somehow, somewhat lah. But the best thing, all four Andesian running for 800m got in top 8. Baik Andes. hohoho. Cikgu treated us all H2o drink after all the events. And tomorrow pizza treat. Very generous of her!

Okay, so the main point is that, I'm happy that Andes is doing very well so far. And oh, funny thing, this is my first time buying running shoe, and "eh! macam mane nak pakai? first time sia. hahaha!" Very belo. Sumpah. And today, my world revolve around 3 eh. lol.

First brother came in and hand me strawberry milk tea few minutes ago, I just bought one cup for myself just now. bleah~ Seriously, I'm starting to cut down on eating. -_________-"

---

The other day I dreamt about H. Unexpected! Maybe because this year suppose to be our 2nd year together, in fact, few days more. But what to do. haha. So over it, but at times, it hurts to see us ignoring one another when we use to be super close. Misses.

Okay, homework waiting. Bye.

If I happened to show up on your door step crying, would you care?
If I called you and asked you to pick me up because something happened, would you come?
If I had one day left, to live my life; would you be part of that last day?
If I needed a shoulder to cry on, would you give me yours?

- at least he msg u alot. . . mine was like shit. . .
- that was once upon a time eh! that was like, september? pelan2 terus hilang. mcm dia kasi shasha makan racun, pelan2 suffer and die. sakit tau. atleast kalau mcm in the first place tak layan, tak banyak tak memories and stuff. nak delete msg pun shasha sayang sesangat.
- cherish it b4 it really gone. . .
- dah pun. gone for good kot. hmm. kaylah.

prove me this isn't true. <3 irza

2009-03-03T00:14:00.003+08:00

chatted with an, and it touches me so much. it's late now. i'm turning in. maybe, not promising, i'll update in detail tomorrow before i forget everything. tomorrow = a tiring day. it feels good to have someone close to share things with. what are bestfriends for, correct? yes! okay bye.

An 6 Makata...... says (12:10 AM):
*ingat tau ni an dari ????????????
' l-ove, shasha . says (12:10 AM):
*jbz ^^
*haha.
An 6 Makata...... says (12:11 AM):
*once a jiwe always a jiwe. . .
*including u too. . .
' l-ove, shasha . says (12:11 AM):
*ceh. never felt so welcome
*^^
An 6 Makata...... says (12:12 AM):
*u treat us as brother , we treat u as sister. . . tc. . . ingat jbz tau. . .

goodnight.

sick leh.

2009-02-26T22:05:00.004+08:00

[music] Homecoming by Hey Monday
Im coming home, Im coming home
Did you take off while I was gone?
I missed it all, I messed you up, I missed you.
I'm coming home, I wanna know
When all the leaves begin to fall
If Im falling, falling apart

You've got control of me
Is this the end of me?
Cause I just cant cut up the strings
Im coming back for more
Dont let your heart go
Please dont walk away

My blog sot sot uh! I stress you!
But (!) very the purple, I like.
Now, since I absent myself for a day, I have things to worry about for tomorrow.
Homework, letter for both form teacher and CCA, files, bags,
MY HEALTH!
I hate medicine.
Nih lah akibat taknak makan obat, dah kene rabak baru kesal!
Good topic for karangan hor? (*wink)

Hungry. When I'm sick, I tend to eat even if I cannot taste,
banyak kau peh diet.
Okay bye.

ps: Eh, my blog dah tak sot, happy ^^

how can i say "i will forget you"?
if everything that surrounds me reminds me of you.
how can i say "i dont want you"?
if everytime i wake up i look forward to be with you.

2009-02-25T23:53:00.008+08:00

[music] Saat Terakhir - ST12
Tak pernah terpikir olehku
Tak sedikitpun kubayangkan
Kau akan pergi tinggalkan ku sendiri

Begitu sulit kubayangkan
Begitu sakit kurasakan
Kau akan pergi tinggalkan ku sendiri

Ran in the rain for sport heats today, and now I'm sick, and aching.

Dry cough [sucks a lot, very painful leh!]
Blocked nose [both nostril okay!]
Running nose
Cramp [not due to rain, but other facts]
My thighs aching
In fact, whole body is

Disappointed with self. Only pass one pathetic subject for CT, actually two, but taking com., so thanks to chemistry, I failed. I hate number 2 and 1. Very much. Failed English by one mark, and combined science/maths by two marks. Freak sia. Two more marks to getting distinction for Physics, alone. In fact, that two more marks can also help me pass combined science. Stupid MCQ -.- I want An to teach me Chemistry. Okay bye. Want to turn in now.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat,
or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

wait for the boy who kisses your forehead,
who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats,
who holds your hand in front of his friends,
who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on.

One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU.
The one who turns to his friends and says,
thats her...

Pleasure of love lasts but a moment, pain of love lasts a lifetime.

2009-02-22T20:34:00.003+08:00

[music] doing too much - paula deanda ft. baby bash.
I keep on wondering if everything you said was true,
I keep on wondering if you were really coming through.

Wanted to upload a new picture with my ~~ass~~ hair, but my face very the tempeh that I rather upload 'outdated' picture eh. I miss my long hair, boohoo~ It's real stupid of me to keep bragging about my long chopped hair, but, really, I miss playing around with my hair. I miss not having to worry about my fringe, and I freaking hate my eye bags. Thanks to the constant crying and burning midnight oil trying to complete all the assignments and mugging for test, here's the outcome, bleah~ For now, I can have a very short teeny-weeny break. One day only -.- And that was, yesterday till few more hours to go ... haha. Have to get back to work later. Sigh.

How ironic. I don't see a group, a really strong brotherhood between them to end just like that. I used to respect their strong brotherhood. They were so close, super close that I don't see this coming. Maybe because I don't know much what's happening between them lately, but to this extend, it did effect me in a way. I really wish you people will get together again. I don't like seeing such a thing happening to bunch of people I'm so close with. Work things out won't you? I used to look forward to weekends, to spend sometimes with you people. Some has been asking how I'm doing and stuff, since I've decided not to 'hang out' with you people, I'm touched. Really am. I just decided to 'visit' you people next week, but this just have to happen. , I'm just an outsider, but I badly want to see you guys back together. Years of friendship and brotherhood, a little quarreling is normal. Now who am I suppose to mengadu to if all of you refuse to talk to each other. Siape shasha nak share-share thoughts and feelings about you-know-who kalau korang semua dah nak berdikari? Dah taknak pandang satu-satu lagi?

I just hope for the best. Like I've said, I'll pray for things to get better. Other then that, I can just wait for things to happen.

School has been fine lately. CT1 is over. Malay paper was afterall alright. Not as bad, but you'll never know how the results with be like. I think my peribahasa is improving, alhamdulillah. Thanks to Cikgu's intensive. I hope I pass Malay with flying colours, A1 please. I also attended Amaths yesterday. Yes, haha. I somehow, understood what was taught. After class, head for practice. Brushing up again. I bet everyone is aching now. I cannot wait for cca tee-shirt. Fuh, confirm lawar. Logo siape jugak bikin. hahaha! BD ♥

Next week, practice everyday. Yes, even Sunday. 1st March so soon?

School - checked, practice - checked, normal clan - checked, him ...

I think, I'm doing fine so far. I was too naive to believe that he's gone for good. Now, I would rather leave those 3 years close to heart, yet, never to brag about it no more. What's the point dragging, right? Moving on (?) - not sure, but for sure, I won't want to think about all this s.its for a really long period starting now. There's so much more think about rather than him. Like an saide, tunggu time jek. What ever that means, I'll just agree. ha. Okaylah.

Okay, last point, I need to loss some fat (!) Nizam's first question for me yesterday [after a month since we last saw each other?] was "Kau put on weight eh?" and Mamat went "A'ah eh. Makin tembam." Heartpain loh. Very menyakitkan hatiku.

Okay dah. Bye! I'm confident, that I won't post till next next week. hahaha! Sampai bile-bile lah kay. Updating wl-s later, uploading some pictures, 'cause picture speaks a thousand words. Malay karangan awaits. Final bye.

Okay belum lagi, last sentence. I WANT TO SHAKE R OFF ME! He's using me, tskkkkkkkkkk. Kay bye.

- life without you is like a broken pencil, it's pointless.

what happen eh? hmm.

2009-02-19T22:42:00.002+08:00

The most _|_ fringe ever. Swear! I'm not going back to that saloon. Kay, fake. The good thing is that, they help me iron my hair, and it's foc, but he go cut my fringe super short when I kept emphasizing 'not too short'. Ahh. Wtv. What's done, is done. It'll grow. For now, I need to get use to 'short' hair. bleah. I want the bottom curls back, sigh. Gatal ah kau sha.

Anw, tomorrow is the last paper for CT1. How relieving, Malay paper tomorrow, going to read up on peribahasa later. So far, all the paper are, a-okay. I managed to study chapter 11 of book 3b in one day with the help of Syayie and Jiliah at the canteen on Monday, cause I swear to God, I was totally clueless. I don't understand a single s.it that was taught. Dumb? Neh. And I planned to study with them again for book 4a, but I head home early on Tuesday with bestf. instead. So studied myself, and obviously, I didn't clear much of my doubt. Not suprising at all, I failed Maths. BUT! Not as bad as I thought. I could pass, 4 marks gone, careless mistake. Two days of drilling paid off, try harder Sha. Not too late yet :) [yeay positive mindset -.-] Hadn't got any clue for English paper thought.

As for Sciences paper, that I sat for today, Physic, I can do all the question without much struggle except for the last question. Hopefully I get some marks out of 6. And pray hard, I'm not one for the four that failed Physics, why? Simply because I screwed Chemistry, like really. Die ah die. Sigh.

I desperately want to pass my science!

Tomorrow Malay paper, no section C. How? Tsk. Section C is where I score a lot of marks, now no section C, insya allah boleh. Need to kick the habit of being lazy to read the close passage uh. Then, that's about it.

R fetch me from school today. I didn't asked for R to pick me up, I swear. R wanted to, willingly. Just pick me up from school, and walk me home. Reached home today, no one is home. Bleah. hmm. Tarian tomorrow. zzzzzzzz!

Oh, Mamat called me last night and asked me about the same-old-same-old thing. Air mate bertakong. And Faiz showed me the lyric to Superhuman by Chris Brown and Keri Hilson. That song is the song that his friends dedicated for us. Walauweh. Read through the lyric, and my heart hurts a lot.

Dah uh, sakit hati woi. hmm. Online pun mane tau nak chat kan. Biar ler.

figure it out,

2009-02-16T21:16:00.005+08:00

41568312974

still.

I 're-edited' my fringe by myself, and I'm a little more satisfied now. How cool, not. One favour from you hair, please grow! Yes, I've chop it, and I was so sad in school that I can't play around with my hair anymore, why? I cannot pull it to the front no more! And the bottom curly part obviously got cut off too. omg. I don't want to cut my hair for another year already! Fake, but on the brighter side, my hair is less freezy, and not spoilt anymore. Still, it is too short, for me.

lyn : awak tak menyesal ker gunting rambut?
me : menyesal giler!
lyn : ah seh. kite suke rambut awak yang dulu.
me : )))))))))))))))):

Dulu lyn jugak yang suruh kite gunting sebab bawah rosak. alahai. Takpe, rambut! Cepat-cepat grow!

Better get going, CT starts tomorrow, and malay composition - haven't even started. omg, so fast, week 7 already. And the whole class is so chaotic about Olevel registration just now. I so regretting dropping pure phy&chem to take up combined sci instead, why? I sucks at chemistry&biology. Memorise, memorise, memorise. Waduh! Amaths lagi. Goodbye.

I have one message for you, but I'm scared to send it to you. sigh.

hmm

2009-02-14T23:43:00.003+08:00

i heard a song tonight on the radio ,
another girl sings about a boy .
just sees his face in every space ,
every room and i know ,
if i turn around you wont be there
if i close my eyes will you be there ?

i dont wanna lose your face .
i dont wanna wake up one day and not remember what time erased .
i dont wanna turn around
cause im not scared of what love gave me and took away
and i dont wanna lose your face .

i got a picture of you in my bedroom and im hoping it never falls.
hope i'll never lose that feeling i used to get when you called .
now i wonder to myself ,
who were you
where are you
will you ever hear it all ?

i dont wanna lose your face .
i dont wanna wake up one day and not remember what time erased .
i dont wanna turn around
cause im not scared of what love gave me and took away
and i dont wanna lose your face .

that girl in the song had it so good .
wish i could close my eyes and see you
i wish the sky had your face ,
and the oceans had your eyes
and the sun had your lips
and i had you .
ohhh ohhhh yeahhh .

i dont wanna lose your face .
i dont wanna wake up one day and not remember what time erased .
i dont wanna turn around
cause im not sacred of what love gave me and took away
and i dont wanna lose your face .
ohhh no no noooo

i dont wanna lose your face .
i dont wanna turn around
ohh ohhh yeahhhh .
ohh ohhhhh ohhh yeahhh

most importantly, i don't want to loss you.

sigh. i'm not moving on ain't i?

i'm sorry, i did something wrong, very wrong today.

all i wanted was to feel loved, and it turn out wrong, very very very wrong.

things are getting way out of hand.

who is to blame?

me.

that boy who used to give me many nicknames,

is gone completely ain't he?

that boy who use to call me his?

that boy who made a video about us two years back?

a video that made me realise how much he used to loved me.

that boy who gave me a poem that has my name on it,

via fs message after the video.

that four lines that made my eyes blurry by the pool.

those goodnight wishes?

what actually happen?

life = in a mess.

what happened today, was for me to know,

and for you to find out.

i'm not telling anyone in detailed.

in a way, i/he screwed up everything,

but he don't care care, right?

if one day the new would reach him,

he ~~shouldn't~~ musn't be disturbed at all.

2009-02-13T00:42:00.004+08:00

I should be studying for my geo and bio test tomorrow.
I did earlier, but now, I stopped, and start shedding tears.
Tangan gatal, gi bukak folder past convo, check private blog.

What do you know?

I'm tired, sleepy, not yet done with bio, sigh.

edit : made my decision up.
hopefully, i'll stick through it.
shagged.
sleepy. gtg. getting my sleep now,
waking up early to study cos brain ain't functioning well,
thanks for everything anyways.

since you don't seem to care, i won't too.
prove me wrong.

how, who, how, who ?

2009-02-12T20:25:00.005+08:00

I don't know why, but I can't seem to upload any pictures. So bare with it. I won't be updating much nowadays even though I still do go online every now and then. Reason being I always get home only around six everyday. By the time I reach home, I would only have enough time to have a little nap, then wake up and do all the homework, and get back to sleep for the next day. I'm very fatigued. I have to endure, sigh.

As for the other part of life, I'm still lost. Should I stay to one, or just leave the past? I've been asking those who know about this problem, and it in a way, complicate things more. I asked Hafiz, he asked me to leave, so does Syafiq. I asked Agil, he asked me to ask the bonus question, so did An. I asked Syayie, she didn't answer because she have her own problem then, atleast she's living life happily ever after. Hakim asked me to wait instead of me confronting, but till when? Alteast he helped me to cross two out of four already. hmm. Hardest part. sigh.

And oh, I need cash to roll in reallllllllllllllllllllll soon, cause basically, my wallet is empty and I'm yearning for more tops and skirts. Plus, I need to get my hair trimmed and thinned. hmm. Hinting much? I'm really short of cash lah.

Between me and bestf. ; I feel like we are getting apart. I understand. He have someone else to love, eh, I didn't mean it to be a bad way, I congratulate him, but now, I have no one to share everything to on the spot with. No one I can throw tantrums too especially. haha. Not chatting, not texting, no phonecalls - no communication. I understand. And he's keeping something from me. Mofo. This is what happen between me and someone too.

Lack of communication = giving me negative thoughts.

Maybe I'll stick to Hakim's for a little bit longer, before I go text him, again. Hopefully, shasha takkan dikecewakan lagi.

Fikiranku dirasuk ingatan yang bukan-bukan sejak ...

... Soalan itu sentiasa memenuhi kotak fikiranku. Setiap kali ku keseorangan, aku akan teringat kembali kenangan yang lalu – hatiku pecah seribu.

Aku membiarkan sejenak fikiranku menerawang berlegar-legar, soalan itu meroboh alam fikiranku. Setiap kaliku mengimbau kenagan silam, beberapa titik air jernih membasahi pipiku. Hatiku dilamuni kesedihan. Apa telah terjadi dengan semua janji-janji dan kenangan manis yang kita kongsi bersama?

Nada suaraku bagaikan sembilu menghiris tangkal hatiku setiap kali menjawap soalan-soalan yang berkaitan denganmu. Aku dirantap kesedihan. perkhabaran yang disampaikan itu benar-benar mengguris luka di hatiku. Kini, aku berasa kosong dan hampa. Air mata berliangan setiap kali mengenang kembali kisah-kisah lampau. .....

Directly lifted from, wl-s. Only Syayie know lah kan. I trust you. And every time I read the conversation there, tears would roll down. I had enough, but I doubt things would end just here. Ah, f.ck it, I need to get going. Bye.

2009-02-05T00:18:00.005+08:00

yeay me, one year.

-.-

ironically, i really frankly thought it won't reach one year.

you prove me wrong.

i don't know to be happy, or to be sad with this achievement [?]

read between the line.

2009-02-02T22:55:00.007+08:00

An 6 Makata...... says (10:50 PM):

u must always stay calm despite any situation. . .

he's true. i MUST stay calm. things would get better shasha. put the negative thoughts aside.

An 6 Makata...... says (10:51 PM):

he can't do aniting if u give up. . .

understand. . .

i didn't gave up on you. i gave up hoping for something to happen. you think, it's that easy? my words is to please myself. to tell myself to move on, despite knowing i cannot do it. i didn't know you would take it to heart. i'm sorry.

for now. i MUST stay calm. have sufficient rest and eat well. stop crying obviously. but impossible, cos why?

monday - promised bestf. to watch him score some goals

[but he choose to "play-play" today. disappointed me man!]

tuesday - tarian

wednesday - house practice on alternate week

[cannot watch bestf.'s soccer match. alternate weeks only, alone?]

thursday - bio extra class

[school end at 5.30pm going 6.00pm, wth. endure sha, endure.]

friday - tarian

saturday - tuition maybe?

sunday - only day to wake up late, and do things at my own pace.

[yesterday, i woke up at 4PM, that's bcos mum woke me up. shagged much?

nah. maybe because i slept at 5 in the morning, for what? -.-]

how pack can i be? mati lohhhhhhhhhh.

today's dinner treat was postpone to friday, after tarian. dah busuk-busuk dengan bag besar-besar pergi makan. takde standard loh. nvm.

edited:

five minutes later - : and i'm starting to fall sick. going to have a tough week ahead.

@ 1.38 am - the first thing i saw on my private blog was his pictures. three of it in just one post. sigh.

my private blog used to be filled with lots and lots of smiley. now?

ish, geramnyer!

without doubt, imy, vm.

baby, i still need you.

2009-02-01T03:41:00.000+08:00

Walandey. For the second time in my life,
I heard "someone" mengilai out the window.
Kali kedua.
Now I cannot sleep. Wakau!
Was it real, of fake eh?
This time, it sound more, scarier.
Ya Allah.
Mengucap Natasha, mengucap.

2009-02-01T01:07:00.002+08:00

Eh, how come uh?
i've been using the 'patheticallyhated' for like, years now, and I've found a something almost similar. pure coincidence, or? eh! walau. chet. marah nih. hmm.

in the past, he/she use to say bad things about me in his/her blog thinking that i didn't know. i bloghop a lot, so i somehow got to his/her blog and kept things to myself. now this.

grrr~ let it be shasha, let it be.

mamemo -

2009-01-31T21:56:00.008+08:00

It needs time , to win back your love again .
Only love , can bring back your love someday .
I'll fight to win back your love again .
Only love , can break down the wall someday .
If we'd go again all the way from the start ,
I would try to change the things that killed our love .
Your pride has built a wall, so strong that I can't get through .
Is there really no chance , to start once again ?
I'm loving you !

Baby , try , to trust in my love again .
Our love just shouldn't be thrown away .
If we'd go again , all the way from the start ,
I would try to change the things that killed our love .
Yes, I've hurt your pride, and I know
What you've been through .
You should give me a chance because this can't be the end !

I'm still loving you
I'm still loving you, Still loving you baby .
I'm still loving you, I need your love .
I need your love .

Found this 'poem' (?) from friendster bulletin. sigh. For me to know, and for you to find out. Things got from bad to worse. What's next? It needs two hand to clap.

I rot at home the whole day. I know, it's Saturday. Usually, this time, I won't be home yet, but today, I rather stay at home than being else where. I actually had plan for today, to go out study with Asyraaf, but I didn't contact him, neither did he, 'cause the day before yesterday, errrrrrrrr, so hmm, the plan didn't work out.

Anw, since it didn't go as planned and I've also decided not to go for my usually 'visit' to nbp till everything gets better, i went out with mum and first brother instead. I'm $$-less, so I sit back and 'enjoy' mum buying things. grr~ ass. She bought new mum-like-slippers, not my type at all. haha. But, this one pair was really very tempting, but no cash! Ceh no lah. But I don't want to use [even to touch] the money in my bank. That potion, for emergency. My saving in my wallet flew away from me. chet. Waste my time saving up only, okay no. IKHLAS alright, but I badly want to tebang my hair, but pay with what? Daun? Need to save up again loh.

Okay enough. So, roam around & the bag I actually wanted as school bag is now on 10% discount, so I gave mum that -.- look and we walk off. baik sekali. prft. Had lunch at banquet. I was actually feeling very nauseous since morning [still am now], so I thought of just eating popiah, but after mum fed me bro's meal, I bought the same plate of wanton noodle and shared it with mum.

Mum and myself talked about O level after talking about work. Can you imagine, my first brother decline a job that can give him a pay like $2000 (!!!!). That's because he didn't know that the job can give him that kind of a pay. That's where it all started from. Maybe to some, $2000 ain't biggy, but for someone like my first brother, it's a hell of an achievement, but my brother decided to be 'LOYAL' to his current job, and now his job is a b*tch. Seriously, if they want him in, they'll call, if they don't = no pay. Like, ish!

And for someone who never step his foot to a secondary school, imagine lah can, being a supervisor to idk what thing lah. Eh, I'm not trying to humiliate him, and my brother is not a school drop out okay. He's a premature baby, so he failed his psle and went into avi instead. Atleast it do him good, 'cause he fixed a lot of things at home you know. My point is, brother's kindness is not appreciated. That always happen huh? Now he's regretting but being a good sister, I gave him encouraging words [HAHAHA!] , "There's still lots of opportunity out there!" with hand gesture. ahah. I was trying to be funny, trying to cheer him up, but only mum got it -.- bleah~

Crap. So after roaming around, bus and alight at central. Paid bills and bought bbt. Straight home after that.

And oh, I was craving for mum's brownie after Cikgu Mas said she was going to bake some the other day, and before I could even tell mum about my craving, she bake some today! Mother-daughter instinct like she said. Coolio! Her brownie is the best, really moist woi! I baked some before, but dry. Walandey. But still, my kuih suji rocks better than her's, she agreed so herself. haha! Okay crap lagi.

I'm feel like vomitting now. Idkw. Nak cakap tak cukup tidur, tadi bangun lambat, nak kate tak makan, dah. HEADACHE DEH! chet. I haven't done any homework, usually by now, I would have done half of it, 'cause I always bring it with me to nbp. Since today I decided to stay home, I haven't even got it out of my bag. Must finish it leh.

Okaylah. Enough crap already in this post. haha. Very random to the maximum. Bye now.

ps: i don't do first move. call me traditional, wtv. i'm still waiting.

iny

2009-01-29T21:03:00.007+08:00

fine, i was the wrong one.

i'm to blame. fine, fine, i'm just fine with it alright

semuanya i.

bleah~

i was wrong. seriously. i didn't meant what i said.

insecurity took over me, sigh.

it was out of anger and disappointment,

isly.

if i don't, i won't be counting down to my first year.

exactly a week time.

ps: i need someone to look after my feelings too, right?

sorry alif, sorry asyraaf, i need him.

no point, no point.

2009-01-27T18:42:00.003+08:00

I dreamt about him again - ridiculous! Every night. I'm sick of it. Not worth it at all you see. Ass hurting only -.-

Friday - 23.01.2009 ,

I took back my words about school performance being 'uncool'. I set my alarm to ring at 0345 hour, so that I have enough time to bath, pack, tie my hair, and maybe eat, but no. I woke up only at 0415 hour. Rush myself. Everyone was still soundly asleep. bleah. Left the house at five. Met the girls and kakak at the playground in front of school. As plan, kakak would make-up me a little to lessen her burden? haha. What ever you call it, but the other girls were late, so she did everything for me. School gate open slightly later after six and we rushed in. Waited for the aunty at the foyer for AVA room key, then only we proceed to AVA.

It reminded me of organising sec one camp you see. Having to go round the school early in the morning. Memories. Help out here and there. Had time for light breakfast before having few rounds of practice at the dance room.

CNY concert was fun, awesome I should say. Except for the part when Jiliah fainted. It was seriously, my first time having someone fainting right before my eyes. Thankfully, she's alright. Scary, really. Claustrophobic jugak ker? o.0

After everything ended, had lunch at the canteen. When back home, and rested for a while before I head out to me a friend. He asked me to meet him, but I decline, ended up, I was the one to ask him to meet up at the very last minute. So yeah.

Walked to Gekpoh. Friend treated me bubble tea, with a purple straw. haha! Slacked under a block, and we talked about a whole lot of things - catching up. It has been awhile since we last meet up. So yeah. Around six, I made my way to Jp.

Meet mum, wawak and first brother there. Wawak bought for me waffle - peanut butter. Thank god, 'cause I was hungry. Planned to register myself for tuition with mum, but ended up waited around ntuc xtra (?) to get all the ingredient for steamboat the next day. I ended up sitting one side, and started reading. bleah. Boring mah. Bus home and that's about it.

Saturday - 24.01.2009 ,

Woke up at noon. Too shagged. Bath and bus with that huge gigantic bag full of costume to Jp. Waited for Ziana and then I rush off to supposedly, meet up with Naresha's dad, but I found the trailer, but nobody inside. I was tired + frustrated having to wait for them -.-

I was standing like one kuku waiting for Naresha when someone snapped right in front of my face. "Siape siak dekni?" - in my mind. She took off her shades, Qhaliza. Omg. I didn't recognise you. hah. Everyone change you see. Then only I saw Naresha. Top up and trained to Geylang. Got to know Naresha knew the place, brava -.- I could have followed mum to granny early in the morning, but ohwell.

Trained back to Jurong. Meet friend up again. Ate breakfast cum lunch at Ljs. Thanks for the treat. I was shivering eventhough I wore long sleeve, so we walk aimlessly and sat under a voiddeck near Pm. I wasn't in the mood.

The he sent me to granny's. At granny's has steamboat and stuff. Celebrated Hazirah's adv. b'day, but I didn't get any bite from the cake 'cause Ahmad Syafiq ate my cake when I was away washing the dishes. Wtf. I was sad. Boohoo~

Sunday - 25.01.2009 ,

Spent my time at nbp. Did my homework and stuff. Hafiz came and "visited" me there. With Zai. And they were being plain boys. You know what I mean. grrr~ Smack kau kang! Now, official, aku kering. Bleah. But it's okay, it's alright. haha. Temporary only, hopefully. ha. Saw something flying in the air? Idk. An said hot air balloon. Trying to be funny ah? hahaha. Others said latern? But, how can a latern fly right? hmm.

Monday - 26.01.2009 ,

I was disappointed, very, but ohwell. Mamat was very irritating that I head home without him knowing. Gi mam. I badly wanted to have a look at eclipse, but I didn't see any. How sad. Sigh. Saw those flying things again though. I was really bored, but I forgotten to bring my storybook along, bleah. All night, my phone kept ringing. How I wish it has your name on it every time it does, but neh.

As for today, I didn't go anywhere, stayed home. Don't feel like heading down to nbp. For what? If I get nothing in return. I don't feel like eating. I woke up late, but still feeling very tired, and I learn somewhere, if you spend your whole night sleeping, but still feeling shagged, it means that your brain is still working when it should rest, why oh why brain? sigh.

Okay, updated. No mood. sigh. I'm not hungry, but I feel like drowning myself in food. I dreamt that he called me last night. bleah. I also dreamt that I was eating KFC, I was eating nasi goreng and how I yearn for some coffeebean. Kering babe, KERING!

as for now, i have to learn how to live life, without you.

2009-01-22T23:31:00.006+08:00

I swear to God, in this picture, I did the "rock on" hand sign. But it's either Didi's 2.0 mega pixel phone camera was _____, or my finger was too thin that from where Naresha [photographer] is, it can't be seen -.- If you where to click on the picture, it don't really look like middle finger right, so yeah. Anyway, look at the background. Sotong. Remains me a lot, of someone. bleah~

I've changed a whole lot here. It's "more me" now. Instead of pale blue and stuff, it is now purple. Colourful. Cool. I have less then four hours of sleep before I have to wake up, do my hair and meet them to proceed to school. I know, school performance is always un-cool. One, you know 99.99% of the audience, two, you have to wake up extra early, three, you'll have to rush everything from make-up to clothes to, everything lah. On the other hand, I get to skip all the lessons, including ERP. Neh, not that happy, no reading. But I can do some reading while waiting, if time permits. haha.

I've been reading a lot. Even at home. I was famished when I got home, so I head to the kitchen after changing. My cooked fish curry, and I dislike fish [not hate, but dislike] unless it's fried. So, I cook something up myself, maggi - very lazy. While waiting for the water to boil, I sat one side and start reading, only to realise that the water boils really quickly and I got panicky. Kanchong tak tentu pasal. And guess what, I hit a bowl and it fell. All the fishball in it gone to waste. haha. The bowl obviously broke to pieces, but the plate covering it didn't. hmm. What ever. I didn't clean up the mess though. Mum came out and clear everything up. hahaha. Only then I continue cooking. Like -.- So unlucky ah. Mum didn't scold though, only when I asked her a stupid question, " fishball nih nak buang ker ape? " haha. Duh~

Okay, topic lari.

I don't have plan this saturday. How pathetic. After sending back our costume, I have nothing in mind. Head back home and sleep? -.- Asyraaf asked me out, I declined. To bad lah.

I hate making first move, especially when it isn't appreciated.

IF YOU SEEK AYU.

(read it in a very very very very very very slow manner, you'll get me.)

sleepy liou. bye. but my stomach is growling, like crazy -.- going to get something to eat now, pack bag and off to lalaland. adios!

tired.

2009-01-21T22:49:00.004+08:00

{ heart left abondon alone. }

Monday = CNY practice.

Tuesday = rehersal, CNY practice, SYF.

Wednesday = biology extra class.

Tomorrow = rehersal, CNY practice.

Friday = performance.

Mr Soh's first question when he saw me entering the humanities room for extra class at four today was, "today no dance?" So, I explain to him and he said "Ya I know. Always end so late, not tired?" Obviously I am. Speaking of which, I had my afternon nap, and only woke up at ten. I always woke up at eight, automatically, not needing a alarm clock, but I failed to today. Luckily I slept with the tv on, what if I don't? sigh. Going to burn midnight oil to study for test and finish up assignment.

And ohhhhhh! I'm addicted to the book school borrowed to us. Momoirs Of a Geisha by Arthur Golden. I like the story. I can see myself reading it most of the time now. Since school is rotating the book around, meaning we would get to read all the books that other class is currently reading, I don't need to buy storybook already ^.^ Atleast something to be happy about right?

I was hoping that Mat would call me last night, but he didn't. I need help, now how? sheeh~ Everyone's asking, I have hard time answering the same question over and over again. Making my life hard, man. I loss hope lah okay. Let just hope he calls me tonight.

I read my saved messages yesterday, and tears start rolling down. My heart hurts. Thing change. Asyraaf, I'm sorry if you feel that way, 'cause I'm telling you the truth by hinting. I cannot do it. I failed to. Stop feeling low yourself, I still am a friend, right?

10 reasons why i hate y o u

2009-01-20T21:23:00.004+08:00

I hate the way you talk to me & the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you made me smile.
I hate the way you understand.
I hate the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much that it makes me ~~sick~~.
I hate the way you are always right.
I hated when you lie.
I hated the way you made me laugh, even worse when you made me cry.
I hated when you’re not around, the fact that you did not text me.
But mostly, I hate you when I dont hate you not even close, not even a moment, not even a bit and not even at all.

Isn't as easy.

2009-01-19T20:44:00.003+08:00

How heartbreaking can life gets? I keep back spacing. I don't know if what I'm going to type will be too direct, that it really hits right in his face, but I rather not, 'cause the truth is, I still am waiting for things to get better. Everyone deserves a second chance right, but the thing is now, does he even know that I was fuming with flame knowing he lied. Even though it was just a tiny little thing, it made my mind wander so far. By all means what I imagine was true or not, I'll still hope things to get better.

Since I can open my inbox already, I dug out all those old messages and save it. The day after my first ECP outing with you guys, you told me that you appreciated me being there for you, taking care of you, and you told me you .. Never mind. But I'll remember always, in a day, you told me the same thing trice, that was then, two months ago, now? Things change. I don't want to sound desperate, I should stop.

" Bende boleh berbaik seh sha, sabarlah. "

As for school, it can be really tiring. Homework piling, okay, atleast for now, things are still manageable, and not yet so out of control. Dance practice almost everyday, and it usually ends only after six. How tiring can things get? Sigh. Tomorrow practice will end, even later. In a way or another, I can't wait to step down. Even so, I still need to turn up for attendance, like what -.-

My weekends had been a disaster. My saturday started off well by finishing most of my homework first. Then, things got a little agitating 'cause some people don't know how to pe conciderate, like wtf, I'm studying there, and there's this guy, that turned his laptop volume to the maximum and played A7X songs, so not helping! My sunday was very, lonely. ha. Had to go all the way to gekpoh, alone, because all the photocopy machine in central broke down. Made my way there alone via bus, and saw Acap [ex jbz] when I left the building. I should have took bus back, seriously.

I saw you on the opposite side, I thought of confronting, but I think more than twice. I choose not to. You were in a rush, I wasn't in the mood. I was sad, but I think I did the best I could to put up a good show. More to come ...

who am i to you? sigh.

2009-01-18T01:30:00.007+08:00

I don't know how to put my feelings to words. After almost two weeks, it turn out to be a waste of time. I'm use to certain things, and I've learn to accept how something works. Too much, just too much. Every action that I made, was to know if you took notice of it, I doubt so. You don't seem to take notice of anything that I do. I was totally disappointed. I choose not to believe, until, I found it out myself. Sigh.

I HATE LIARS! Why must you lie? I still couldn't understand why. There's no reason for you to lie. I was so badly affected, that I cried. Enough of crying myself home.

All I wanted was comforting from you [or maybe anyone else], but did I get any? None. I insisted on going back alone. Why? Pretty obvious why right? I expected a lot. I have high hopes. Too high that it's out of reach. Let it be, 'cause after all this while, now,

I give up !

help?

2009-01-14T22:03:00.004+08:00

MY LEFT EYE KEEP TWITCHING, WHY?

it has been going on since 2 to 3 days ago. and when i'm writing this down, my eyes still twitch at times.sue said because i'm tired, but nadhira said because something bad is going to happen, which is which?

two days straight, i dreamt about jbz. why? idk myself. it has been long long time since i've seen anyone of them. sigh. i'm so packed with lots of things. i'm asking mum to begin my tuition soon. maybe i won't be coming for saturday practice if it starts already? idc. let see. sigh. how pack?

i have difficulty breathing when i put on the mask, clastrophobic? i can't breathe when i put pillow above my chest, i can't breathe in crowded places = headache, i can't breathe when someone is directly in front of me, i can't breathe when i put on the mask, and all this things tend to get me panicky. my heart would hurts a lot. sigh.

i've googled about this, and found a comment :

" No I never saw a therapist. I did go and see a CPN when my anxiety grew really bad, it had evolved into a fear about coffins etc following my gran's death who did help me manage my anxiety. However my Dr is going on about referring me to a psychologist about cognitive behavioural therapy which I would welcome. "

erm, i have phobia about ghost related, coffins and stuff too you see. is it that bad? omg. i just realise this. i feel like as if, sigh.

it's amazing how this used to be a topic between hafiz, khadri and myself, and only now i realise, i'm suffering from it, i think.

topic blog niari sumpah lari.

busy & lazy is a common reason.

2009-01-13T00:36:00.004+08:00

It's some time since I snap a decent picture. The rest turns out ugly, 'cause I'm in the picture, whuat.

It's like, this year, not even one proper post huh? This is still not going to be a proper post. I'll take back my words about updating everything down. Look at the date. I've just checked, the last proper post was on the 29th. What ever happens, I'll keep it to myself. Especially getting to get out of the house for countdown, that was really very cool -.- yet very last minute till I forgotten everything, bleah~ What ever it is, I had fun thoning with them. Though I saw my cousin, it was somewhat expected-unexpected thing, and I saw my ex from far went we were walking from chalet area to 7eleven, uncool, plus very tiring having to go through and fro like, very a lot of times. I had fun though, but I got a little agitated with, hmm. haha. Nevermind.

Look at the time. hah. Just finish most of my homework, and will finish the rest in between of lessons tomorrow. haha. Just left with few questions. Or maybe I'll complete it later. I've rested just now after school, so I can't go back to sleep. Futhermore, this throat is killing me. You see, back from the camp, my throat was just fine, I didn't even loss me voice, at all, eventhough I've shouted a lot more that I expected, but it was fineeeeeeeeee. Few days later, lets put it 2 days later, my throat starts to hurt, and now, I've coughing every now and then, plus, it's hard for me to swollow, like my throat is tighten? Idc, but me? Not eating? Won't happen man. I just force myself too.

Speaking of eating, I've gain weight. Boohoo~ Need to burn the fats, plus I've grew, pathetic - 1 cm only -.- What a life. And in less than a month time, it'll be a year already. How time flies, didn't know I can manage, a year okay. That's long. Self achievement much? haha.

Since school's in, it has been sometime since I step my foot in nbp. Day before camp? hmm. Long enough? I won't be able to yet, tomorrow, no, today, after school, there's cca promotion [and I hve to remind myself to bring a lot of things -.-], tomorrow and thursday, school will end late and friday, may or may not be having cca, saturday - cca. Sunday, family. Sigh. Mum's complaining about the cca thing already. "Threaten" me that she's be seeing my teacher. I wonder what the teacher going to say. haha. Come to think of it, either or, I won't loss out that much. So yeah.

Oh, I've bought my new bag. I wanted something more, colourful, but $$ burn. I'm using my own money fyi. But the bag that I actually wanted, has the same actually price as the one I bought, but this huge bag, was on discount - if only mum didn't saw it. grr. So, she was like "if you buy this back, you can get other things", after much thinking, I just grab a bag that has the most colour [3 colour only -.-] on it. Got myself a wallet, lanyard (again), and a shirt. I spend nearly 200bux on sunday. Neh, not all the things I bought was mine, bought little brother a bag, wallet and a lanyard too. Too bad the shirt don't come in his size. Adik dengan kakak jiwe ketat, bag, wallet, lanyard, kasut sekolah semuanye same, termasuk baju sekolah sekali, duh! He'll will be transferring my money back lah. Hard earn money okay, ceh! I need to get new storybook too, and lots and lots of tys/fys. Sheehs~ Bras basah anyone?

And oh, I can't open my inbox! It's like, when I recieved a message, read it, reply it, and then when I want to reread it, I can't! My inbox cannot open leh. "Operation failed". Walauweh. Now at night, I cannot read back all those sweet messages, funny messages over again and laugh to myself anymore. How sad. Sigh. Stupid phone! But most likely, getting a new one next month? Let see how things goes, plus my mum been asking me to change back to prepaid since I use prepaid more wisely. Sigh. Prepaid can check how much balance left, bill how to check how much we've used?

ps: imy, it was quite sometime since I recieved those 3 words, haha. hinting or what?

away since ?

2009-01-06T23:55:00.003+08:00

HAHAHAHAHA (!)

i'm not dead yet, but this blog happened to be.

i'm going to be away,

for 3D2N camp that 4E1 is organising

for this years sec 1s.

[my brother is one of them, hoho]

will update, once i come back, hopefully.

from the very top, insya allah *grin

bye :]

ps: i've cut my fringe short 'cause it's already very long and very irritating, && ohh! one of my friend [not that close though] thought i'm a secondary two kid, wtfh? -.- i'll take it as a compliment.

psps: saw someone today, and he looked 10 years younger, haha, you, jkjk jek. in actual fact, most jbz happened to look way younger. hahaha! but seriously, cute, very :] i mean, for him only lah, the rest, funny gilala!

and one a big mouth always one kan? if seeing others in this state make you happy, i don't mind, as long as other people are happy, i don't mind suffering, seriously. for the bottom of my heart. have fun sick child :B

I don't want anymore crying, baby.

2008-12-29T22:17:00.011+08:00

I actually wanted to update yesterday, upload a picture already, but was too caught up chatting and talking otp that I neglected my blog. Goodness, so much to update, but without fail, I'll never get bored saying this, I actually miss someone, chet, just meant him just now. hmm. Okay never mind, tomorrow maybe I'll go nbp again? Let see how. Wednesday countdown, they're going ECP, thoning, I don't think my mum would allow me to, so, have to give it a miss, awww. Now now, who's going to take care of him, itu jek aku takut, hmm. Okay dah ;]

So, last updated on Wednesday, and it's already Monday -.- Almost a week or what. I'll try my best to recall, it has been a rough week, hmm.

On Thursday, 25th December ,

Mum woke me up early in the morning. Was told we've going swimming. Happy ah. 'Cause I've been wanting to go swimming. So, bath, pack, checkcheck, cannot find my swimming suit anywhere. Heartpain. I end up throwing my bag on my bed and went out with only my EZ-link, handphone and earpiece. Mencacah sendiri. Baik ape, baju mandi boleh hilang. Sot.

Reached JESC, some were there already. Seeing those little kids swimming, really got me envious. Lagi, Dinie, little brother and Faizal "played" the slide. Wah. Rock on ah. Binget. Ibu offered to buy new swimsuit. Decline ah. Abih nanti salin, takde baju dalam, baik ape? -.-

From around 0930 to around 1400 they were swimming, and I became one of the mak-mak, sit one corner ah -.- Sot. Listen to song that someone and gang made [hahaha!] and this four specific line, a verse, made tears roll down my cheek :

"Walaupun kau jauh di mata,
Tapi dekat di hatiku,
Mungkinkah kau tak menyedari,
Perasaan hatiku, selama ini."

After all those swimming they did [hmm!] they wash up, I helped to put on Nazurah's clothes, punyelah mampat tu anak, skirt peh susah nak pakaikan. Sampai senget -.-

I asked her to take picture, but Idk why, she like that. haha. Tahan badan kot -.-

" Kak kak! Kak dah macam monyet seh. "
"Sape monyet? Kakak lah!" *point at me* [darah naik.]

"Danish! Ambil gambar, 1 2 .. "
"Okay dah! Nak tenguk."
"Eh! Belum lagi lah" -.-

"aha. Gambar adik, gambar adik!"

It's like as if my family owns the whole place.

Yes, the man at the back is part of my family too.

Ucu, last uncle. hahaha!

After washing up, both my uncle(s) Abah and Wee, drove the whole family [two vans] to IMM. Had lunch at Bagus. Wawak's treat. And since it was Chrismas, most of us had western. Okaylah, actually didn't realised it until Abah teguh.

Abah: Ohh, pandai eh kakak. Mentang-mentang merry KISMIS, makan mahal eh!
Me: HUH? hahaha. Kismis?

Cekik darah pakcik sorang nih. While queueing, Abang Faizal, Dinie and myself was talking about the losing match between S'pore VS Viet. Kecoh apa. Both my cousin actually join in the "riot". hahaha. tsktsktsk.

I was seriously full, 'cause I actually ate a lot when they were all swimming. Abih dah tak ade kerja lain, nyekik sajalah. hmm. Then Wawak bought a plasma/lcd tv at best denki. We spend like 2 to 3 hours in there -.- Long enough? We even had time to play those kiddy kid outside best denki. Nazurah don't know how to control that machine, now, my leg have scars, baik Kakak -.-

Then Wee sent us home. Night time, chatted with An Spade and found out something. hmm. Another day crying myself to sleep. Sigh. I slept halfway texting. Woke up next morning, receive the text message, and I really felt weak ah, but ohwell.

On Friday, 26 December ,

Tarian as usual. I came late -.- Not on purpose obviously. After tarian, as usual, head down to nbp. Not for long 'cause mum asked me to go to my granny's place. Reached there, Wee drove us to IMM, again. Wawak bought home stereo -.- Teman-ed Nazurah play the kiddy ride again. This time, I was wearing long pants, tarian what, so save loh. haha. After buying that home stereo, head back to granny's place, first thing first, makan -.- Then my uncle pasang home stereo and we watch Transformer, memekak nak mam siak. Then dad pick me and mum up, balik.

On Saturday, 27 December ,

Had dry run at Labardor Park. So-so. After rounding there, texted Hafiz, wanted to ask him out for lunch, but he didn't reply. So much for "pape picit jek okay". Smack kau kang!

Then lunch at LJS, vivo. Train back to BL. Bus to nbp. Then proceed to sp since most of them were there. Watch them play soccer. Wakau. Asik kene rembat bola direction kite jek, sakit hati. And they tease _____. Funny. Afiq terpigang badan dia, terus geli semacam. Abih Raimy rembat muka dia lagi kelakar. I couldn't stop laughing. Then Idrees, Punk and Nizam came.

Somewhere after they finish making a fool out of themselves, look at my reflection, I thought mosquito bite somewhere around my eyes, check-check, lebam. Confirm due to the 3 nights straight of, hmm, crying.

But between me and someone, okay dah. Was texting him all night. Till morning lah okay.

" Okay best. U, i nak tidur dulu uh. "

" Gdnyt wish? =) "

haha. cute sesangat.

On Sunday, 28 December ,

Woke up late. haha. Woke up, got ready, siang-siang dah siap, abih kene tunggu sampai kul lime. Dad drove us to BB, westmall ah abih. Mum wanted to change to MIO tv. I don't want. Gedebak-gedebuk, dad drove us back to JP. Wanted to eat at Fig and Olive, but dad don't eat western food so much -.- Ended up eating at Banquet -.- Okaylah tu. Didn't finish my food, amusing. Wanted to buy my 10-years-series from popular, but oos.

Bought school shoe. Adik's leg is like, size seven, and I thought my feet grew already, but no, still size four. Eh, tsk -.- Then mum wanted to "tenguk-tenguk" NTUC xtra or what ever it is lah, and we spend quite a lot. So much for looking around. But atleast I bought my shampoo already right. haha. Then dad drove us home. No text message though. He thon at Pasir Ris with his friends, which means to mum's phone. hmm.

On Monday, 29 December ,

That is today, woke up at 0815, wanted to get back to sleep, luckily I didn't. I dreamt of Jbz. For what reason, Idk. Weird? Indeed.

Bath. Head to school. I reached, the school hall shows 0859 okay, but kakak said I was late, baik -.- So need to run outside school hall, ten rounds. Baik. Lucky outside school hall only, if outside school field, confirm I cheat ah, nih tak. Lagi number favourite si dektu an. haha. So yeah. Practice was so-so. I like one part, went payung tried to dance selendang, and selendang dance payung. Kalang kabut dibuatnye. Dah macam ape, haha. It was awesomely messy, get me? haha.

Practice CNY step. Then Cikgu came, told us everything we need to know. Got to know, Sec 1 orient. is on 5th Jan, which is exactly a week from now. Like, wth. So, we got very "kachong", just decided to dance joget instead of tepak.

Brush up on joget like crazy. "Okay lastlast! I one 100%" check-check "not satisfied, again". So, tarian ended late. Went back home. Change, cool down and etc. Bought bbt, and slack at nbp. Abih, Rai ngan someone came. hoho. lepas rindu sekejap.

Since Sarep wanted to go off, I went off too. Was making my way to the bus stop, abih they were shouting Idk what, so I turn around, each and everyone asked me to wait, ikutkan hati nak jaln jek, abih someone asked to wait, so I did. Abih he send me to the bus stop. Kalau nak hantar orang sampai rumah nenek cakap jek ah. hahaha. Dalam bus, senyum-senyum sendiri.

Reached granny's place, saw Abah and Mama Yat. Took lift together. Salam-salam, makan. hahaha. Then slack. Talked to the b'day girl. Very cute! But she keep touching my pp sia. Okay, disgusting but seriously -.- Even a K1 girl can tell, what's my favourite colour ^^

Wawak ordered pizza, wait correction 5 pizzas. The first two that came first, was from Rite Pizza, not sure what toppings but I ate two, tak kenyang, setengah with Dinie, still, not full at all. Waited for the other 3 pizzas. Pizza De France. The pepperoni (?) was nice, but the seafood was not. The chicken wing was nice too. Wasn't full, but I stopped. hahaha. Cleaned the table and slack.

Only now I realised, that Zyra and Dinie took art, and if only I had taken art [not in the subj. comby], kite tige dah jiwe. haha. Talking about major exam, gave me chills (?) Asal bo jek aku. Yeahyeah.

After having to layan Nazurah, then her little brother, Rusyaidi. Very stubborn, but very cute ^^ Danish was funny too.

Wee send us home. With full of emosion and confident, Danish shouted "bye!" but the van door was closed, and the window is all shut, me and Dinie couldn't help but laugh. And he said "Bye! See you soon" to Nenek that was out the window. Very cute.

Playing Wii part one

Playing Wii part two

Reached home around 2200.

It's currently, 0233 in the morning, yes Tuesday morning, chatting with Hafiz. Waiting for someone to chat with me, he's currently busy/away. Cs-ing I think. So yeah.

Have to wait for my next update I guess, 'cause I'll be out tomorrow, and Wed, and Thurs, not sure. Fri, school reopened. Saturday, tarian. 'Cause Monday is already our performance, gosh -.- What a rush.

Happy B'day Kakak!

[Rasyiqa Nazurah bte. Md Nizam]

Nanti kakak shasha belikan kakak spongebob card holder like mine okay!
Sayang kakak!

Showing off her b'day give.

RS : Kakak, kakak suke kaler purple eh? [*point to my tee]
NN : A'ah.
RS : Oh, abih kakak suke teddy bear? Kaler ape?
NN : Suke! Kaler purple lah -.- Kakak nih.
RS : Mane ade teddy bear kaler purple! [*point to care bear, confy -.-] Asal boleh jek kakak!
NN : Ehy! Ader kaler purple lah -.-
RS : Takde.
NN : Ade.
RS : Takde.
NN : Adelah!

Kecoh apa. Very lazy to re-read the whole thing and check from mistake, bye!

2008-12-24T19:30:00.009+08:00

sangat-sangatnye :D

Baik! I just realised, that I accidentally deleted, someone's two night ago goodnight message, and the one I accidentally deleted happen to have sweet words in it, sedih sekali, boo~ Really hoping for my phone to ring though, but he's credit is low. Apedah. Hopefully he top-up by countdown, long way to go, I know, but I understand.

Baik! First brother made my day. Unbelievable, I know. He opened my room door, and I thought he was about to tell me that Mum called me, he swit-ed and I ignored [haha!], watch his move from the reflection from my Tv, and he handed out something, turned, and saw strawberry milk tea from central. Baik abang. Sayang abang! He made my made, though what happened yesterday was a bummer. sigh. I cried, like nobody's business. Bad, I think even my neighbour can hear what happened at home. I hate it when I'm the target. Sigh. I was hoping for him to call or atleast text me, nah-uh. Nothing. Maybe because I didn't tell him. Ohwell. He should know by now. sigh.

Okaylah. Lets start posting. Wanted to post yesterday you see, but what happened at home, made me delete my entry, and start typing on powerpoint [because I locked myself in my room, and Mum switch the internet off -.-]. I typed two page long okay. 800++ words. haha! I cried all the way lah okay. Will copy and paste it, to my priv. blog soon. Sorry aye Hafiz. I reprivate my blog you see. That's why you can't enter. hmm. I'll let you enter soon alright. I'm sorry for that though. I very shy lah, hahaha! anw, duit aku dah dapat? o.0 I thought of coming to school today with him, but with fucking swollen eyes, tak payah sudah -.- Plus Mum didn't allow me to. Binget, binget! sigh.

Okay jom start!

On Saturday, 20 December,

I didn't go anywhere. Stayed home and be a goodgirl. Just that I was texting someone the whole day. Till five in ther morning, haha. I tertidur. Sway. haha. I silented my phone again, mane taknye -.- Before I slept, Dad went back around 0100 in the morning from work and bought us supper, Nasi Lemak, I think the one from BL. Nice or what. But I had Nasi Lemak for two days already. Not good, but I weight myself, and I was back to my actually weight, baik! 40kg. Itu pun ibu masih kate aku berat, baik! What made my day was a simple three words from him, and it made me smile myself to sleep, and wake up super fresh the next day. I was super happy, that I blogged about the messages straight away, in my private blog lah. Ibu just came in and asked me to eat -.- 'cause I hadn't had any meal for today. [okay tak baik, airmate berkumpul. tsk. aku gembeng, aku tau.]

On Sunday, 21 December,

I was texting someone till five in the morningkan, and one part, he said he wanted to watch "cerite jiwang" and that's why he offline-d. He asked me to watch SCV channel 16. Okay, dengan confident, aku fikir cerite jiwang okay. Paisey. London Ink was on, "ini you kate cerite jiwang?". Haha. Baik you! And he said he wanted to have his hand inked. Binget, aku binget gile tu moment, sumpah! Okaylah. When Hafiz said he wanted to have tattoo, sha dah milenting gila, apekan lagi dia? betul? :@

Woke up at noon, first thing was to text him saying sorry, that I fell asleep. Bathed, and Hafiz called when I was bathing. Baik! Always like that. Couldn't pick up lah. Went online. Plan plan, siap siap. And waited for that cleverboy to reach my block. Tunggu punya tunggu, tak timbul timbul. So, I head to central alone before he reached to summit my birth cert 'cause the CC called earlier asking for it. Was suppose to go with him, but I got bored waiting. hmm. Can you imagine, pakai lawar lawar [okay tak lawar lah, but okayokay baby ah] with make-up all, just heading central alone, buat aku rase macam badut sia. Orang fikir aku gi central jek nak lawar lawar. Buat malu saja yah. While waiting for the green man, Hafiz called -.- I didn't want him to know that I headed CC without him, he'll yak you see, abih got nyonya beside me shouting idk idc what ah. Dah bo cui. Member hot. " Kau kat mane? Baik. Tak tau tunggu pe sial? " haha. Sorry lah -.- Bought bbt and I head back home. Waited for Hafiz was a pain.

He called me at 1700 hour saying he's at my void deck. Baik! Buat plan kul empat, sampai kul 5, sepak kau peh muke! Bus to interchange. Oh, before that Hafiz wanted to get bbt. Told him I had one already before he reached and guess what " Ah, two strawberry milk tea please " Baik Hafiz! I was fucking bloated, with strawberry milk tea ah abih. Hafiz finishes his drink even before reaching interchange, but I haven't even drink half yet, -.- He wanted to go to the toilet, waited outside. Baik! Bangla everywhere. Saw Farahin, she was sitting at the staircase, but didn't even confront each other. Standard -.- Hafiz top up his EZ-link. Saw Wan Telor with Syafiq. Baik! Terus lincar kaduk naik train. Like Hafiz said, both of us were paranoid. Looking out for people. Kecoh.

We manage to find a sit, and there's this couple you see, throughout the whole journey, they slept. Tak cukup tidur pe sia? And the guys face very blur gilala whenever his girlf. wakes him up. hahaha! Then 20 cent jatuh -.- Hafiz die die want to find it and that was somewhere around City Hall ke Bugis. Punyelah ramai manusia. Dua dua dah terkekek sendiri. Check check the money was under my shoe -.- Baik! Reached kallang, mate merah. Semangat Singaporean! -.- He had a stick and we walked to stadium. Had to meet Syafiq Steam first. Gave him back his money, and we entered. Small world. Hafiz's ex schoolmate [I think] is Syayie's ex boyf.'s friend, Herman and others. Went out with them before, once.

The game was very -_______________-" Only the first 20 minutes, Singapore had chance to score many many goals, but it's either too high, too low, too weak, to direct. I mean, you know the keeper is in the center, abih shoot tengah. Bijak singapore, bijak! My family was there too. Watching the match live, but they were opposite from were we sat. Plus they entered for free! No guard -.- Baik! Near grant stand lagi! -.-

After the very dissapointing lossing game, we head back to Boonlay. We already walk off, during the 4 minute extra time. Lucky I tell you. 'Cause Syafiq text me saying that there's a fight there. Between Singapore and Vietman obviously. haahah! Riot. Kecoh. Singaporean very _____ lah. Dah kalah sudahlah, nak riot pun bukan dapat rematch. Bengap sia. hahaha. Reached Boonlay and we walked to Macd. Take away food and ate at block hijau. After very late dinner we had, Dad took me from there and drove us home. Reached home, went online and that was about it. [panjang per sunday!] And ohh, thanks Fiz, I actually wanted to watch the match, and you actually asked me, thank ah! Now you know, how enthu I can be. Aku dah kate, berkali-kali, it's in the blood, football fanatic! haahaha!

On Monday, 22 December,

Woke up late. Luckily, Hafiz called me, or I think I won't turn up for both meeting and practice. Not much attend for meeting. Raudah, Shiykin and myself had to decide were the sec one will be sleeping, and were we're sleeping. Rather satified with it.

Ended my day slacking with jbz, and someone ain't happy at the end of the day. Stress! Mamat uh nih. Sigh.

On Tuesday, 23 December,

Had practice, but I came one hour later. hmm. sigh. Entered hall, abih got takraw boys. Had to run around the hall trice, alone. What luck. Haha. Practice was more on CNY performance. I injured my right knee and my butt [-.-] because of the falling, and my toe hurts, terbakar, because I had to slide after falling. Baik! Performance day pakai stokin ah, amcm? -.-

Anw, it was Kakak's birthday, and we had a b'day suprise for her. The plan went smoothly. Thought she would suspect about it, but turns out, she didn't know a clue. How cool? We can dance, we can act too, beat that! haha. It turn out she cried, she was shock much?

After practice, slack a while. Went back hom one hour before my normal timing. 'Cause, takut dia turun, nanti mati. haha. I got to know, something, tindek sini sane, hot jek. hmm.

Night time, was a dissapointment. I cried myself to sleep. Before that, I texted Mamat, 'cause someone credit was low, I had no one to turn to. Hafiz credit was low to, if I were to call, couldn't get through, if I were to text him, won't recieve. Idklah. Was hoping that Mamat would call 'cause I really need someone there for me, but by the time he called, I already cried myself to sleep. Left him a message to him, for someone. hmm. I should have listen to him lah. Tak, tak jadi macam gini. Life.

On Wednesday, 24 December,

That is today, woke up, recieved 3 miss call. One from Dad, and 2 from Mamat. He called me, when I just fallen asleep. Text him, and he called me right away, asking if I'm okay. hmm. I woke up and my butt hurts -.- Maybe because of yesterday's practice. Falling, and having to kude-kude for like 3-5 minutes? Punishment much. haha. Woke up with swollen eyes. Didn't go for practice mainly because I wasn't allowed too. Wtv. I seriously should have seen this coming. Now what? hmm. Stayed home hoping for the phone to start ringing. That's all.

Anw, Merry Chrismas! I'm still down. And oh, little brother got his new phone already. I should have gotten mine too you see, but I had tarian, so I couldn't go out with my Mum, so didn't get one. sigh. I really need new handphone you see, mine is about to die any time soon, okay maybe not that soon, but it's giving me problems. At times it'll just dies off my itself, like you know, laptop hang, ah, nih, handphone hang, and it'll eat up the battery, at time, messages won't be send, when I'm otp, my phone, confirm panas, makan battery. Wtv lah.

Atleast for now, I can still message and call. hmm. Okay bye. If got salah sini sane, fahami ah kay. Shasha jugak :D

Sedih, sedih sekali. Tak baik, tak bagus!

2008-12-22T23:55:00.005+08:00

Not in the mood to update, still. Just one person, can ruin my whole plan. How great. So much for having " the best last year " next year. Like this, it seems to be otherwise. How dreadful. What a way to end a year. My effort gone down the drain. How am I suppose to break the news? Who is taking over me then? Adding salt to the wound, I lost my parents' trust, plus both my elder brothers' trust. It's like a chain, everything is linked. It sucks, 'cause just a simple downfall, can lead to more downfall, life = ruin. I doubt things will stop here. I feel like crying typing all this out. I hate it, when things don't go as planned. Now, I don't have choice [ain't given one at all -.-], but to go along with them, but I cannot possible quit, right? Try putting yourself in my shoe. Sigh. Easy for you to say, hard for me decide. What about my family? My parents are complaining. Things ain't good. Sigh.

I had fun the past few days with bestf. Get to meet Hafiz and Khad today in school. I had fun but today ended in not a good way. Wait up, it didn't even start right man.

[Time check : 0126 hour]

Guess what. Someone is upset, that I came down today, but with R. Lahhhh. Not that I'll like him or what. Not going to happen. But, orang kalau dah cepat cemburu. Abih now, both don't want to give in. We ain't fighting though. Just, never mind. I go update somewhere else uh. hmm. Sorry lah -.- tsk.

Binget, binget sekali -.- Baik!

And yes Hafiz, amazing am I? Enthu gile eh? 20 sen hilang dalam train. Matimati nak cari. hahaha. Okay lah. Aku tak happy uh. Member merajuk dengan aku, aku sedih. Alamakk. Tak best. Tak bagus! Tak baik! Aku sedih, lagi sedih dari bile s'pore kalah. Haiyaaa. Tapi kau dengar cerite, kau mesti kekek, tapi aku tetap sedih. hahhaha. Ccb. Dah uh. Macam biol aku bbl sorang. And oh, I don't like to be treated, that's why lah! Cannot ah? But thanks for the bbt, haha!

Okay bye. Update tomorrow, maybe.

2008-12-19T21:49:00.006+08:00

Guess who texted me at nine-thirty, and still am texting me now, after so long? haha. I was just missing him, even though I met him in the afternoon, ohwell.

Woke up way earlier today. I didn't want to actually, but dragged myself out of bed. I didn't have enough rest. I could get myself to bed yesterday night. I was too scared. My imagination run wild. It's such an ass, having to literally, live with "it" you know -.- I was imagining that "it" was sitting on my bed, when I got back from the toilet ['cause I was at the toilet that point of time], it really did freak the hell out of me. Stupid imagination. haiya.

I'm breathing with my mouth, and it's so dry now -.- My nose is blocked. It really sucks you know. Sigh. I think it's because I "played" in the rain today.

Eh, just realised, I ran away from main topic already. hahaha. Okaylah. So, woke up, bath and woke my little brother up. Got out of the house at around eight in the morning, and usually, that point of time, I'm still sleeping -.- Ohwell.

Otw to school, early in the morning, kene kacau dengan pakcik kepo mane tah! Ccb. Dunia nak jadi ape nih? Ada makcik kepo, pakcik kepo? Semua busy body. Jage tepi kain sendiri taknak, nak kepo kepo hidup org. Dah tu, asal boleh hembos. Kalau kerje setakat kilang, tak mahu nak kepo kepo ah. Kalau bagus nah takpe, pakaian jek dah selekeh, ade hati nak kacau org!

PK :
(*smilesmile with gigi kuning)
Cey. Kecil kecil, pagi pagi dah dating. Ape nak jadi.
(*senyum sini sane, kang aku smack sekali hilang semue gigi kau)
Me :
Eh kau! Fikir aku dah takde kerje lain macam kau? Nih adik aku lah siol! Adik siol adik. Muke same, potek pe siak?
PK :
(pe dia membebel tah!)

Mangkuk giler siak! Sumpah. I seriously feel like punching his senget teeth out sia -.- Walked to school with very angry face, with all the vulgarities at the tip of my tounge. Controlled myself lah abih! He's older, I have to respect him, in a way, walaupun perangai dia tu tak sepatutnye di-respect oleh aku. Harapkan lagi tua, perangai lagi sengket dari aku. Takda standard punya orang ah!

Reached school, head hall. Adik was third in the queue. Ibu came soon and she took over while I rush down to take the key for danceroom. Blaablaablaa~ Came for practice late, had breakfast with my family too, as in, my mum, little brother and myself. Mum bought some groceries and left little brother and myself, it was fun. Talked a lot. haha. How sad. He go separated from his 'girlfriend', but his good-girl-friend is in juying too. See! My little brother have a girl, as his bestfriend, and I have Hafiz, a boy, as a bestfriend. Baik! Jiwe ah jiwe (Nizam) ! hahaha. Nih sume, orang tertentu jek faham, kan? hahaha.

Practice was alright. Brush up a lot for both January performances, and it looks so much better now. And started on CNY. Had to create own step for like eight counts of eight? It kills! Kakak gave me steps that I have to fall and stuff, at least I don't have to roll. And again, only certain people knows. But the dance step is freaking nice lah! I like! We were too caught up creating steps and brushing up, that practice was drag for one hour.

After changing, head down to nbp. Waited for Afiq and Raimy for hour half plus? haha. Luckily, Hafiz called. It's like, very auto. When I'm bored, when I need a wake up call, when I just need someone to talk to, he'll call, without me asking him to. LOL. Then my handphone was being an ass and it got jam -.- But by then, I'm not alone anymore lah.

Head back home at my normal timing, yadayada and ate. And the same Nasi Lemak I had from breakfast, nice okay. Then had a plate of mum's cooking. Okay, mok! haha. Went online, chatted with Hafiz, but he went offline out of a sudden. hmm.

My eyelids are very heavy now. I want to turn in, but someone asked me to join them conference. hmm. See how leh. It's already midnight now. And oh, I have to meet steam tomorrow to pass him his ka-ching. Orang yang sungguh menyenangkan hidup aku, not. Nvm. I'll take it as a favour. haiya. Brain gone already. hahaha. Bye ah bye.

Eh ohhhhhhh! Last night, I was totally embarassed you know -.- I heard wrongly, confident lagi tu. Second brother entered my room :

SB :
Kak! Kasi kropok.
Me :
Huh? Ape bende?
SB :
Kropok. Tu atas meja.
Me :
(*tenguk meja, tenguk muka, tenguk muka, tenguk meja) (Dari tiarap main laptop, terduduk atas katil) Ape bende ah?
SB :
Tu lah. Kasi satu kropok tu atas meja!
Me :
HUH? Rokok? Kakak mane hisap rokok. Mane boleh ada rokok pulak dalam bilik?
SB :
hahaha! Keropok lah kak, k e r o p o k !
Me :
Ohhhh! Kropok. Dengarkan rokok. Sorrylah. Salah dengarkan -.-

Confident Natasha, confident!

. hcum yrev uoy ssim I -

2008-12-18T23:20:00.005+08:00

This guy up here, threatened me. He forced (?) me to blog, or he'll "bubble" me on Sunday. Perangai abang-abang. haha! I know, who am I to him, correct? Till he don't mind bubble-ing me. Two dollars don't mean a thing to him, so am I, right? hah! Cey. Like real.

I don't know what he wants actually. Ikutkan kehendak kawanbaik aku sorang nih. Lying at the end of my bed, with my study lamp on, [or my room will be very dark], blogging for the sake of just blogging. haha.

Another thing is that, that guy up there (*point to the picture) said that I'm harsh towards him. Sorry alright? haha. I think, terbawak-bawak. You know, I'm harsh towards _____, to get rid his feelings for me, but, sorry lah okay! -.-

Went out with Hafiz today. [Eh, four paragraph about you, better be thankful!] Meet him up somewhere near gekpoh. Had to meet syafiq steam. But, end up, to no use -.- After meeting him, he accompanied me to school. Saw Mimi in front of school. Member muke tukar. HAHAHA! Idfc. Collect my books, and Hafiz was being such a gentleman [-.-] and carried my books for me. Bleah~ haha. Left my books at home, and head Jp with him. Before that, Hafiz had a chance to hear tarzan screaming. hahhaha. Shhhhhh~ You know, I know, the world don't need to know. hahaha. The other day he heard tarzan sneezing on the phone, what luck huh?

Walked around the extended Jp. It was big. Pathetic enough, we only walked around the 4th storey [I think] and then had our lunch at KFC. You know, we explored the new Jp, and got so hyper. haha.

" Makan KFC pun boleh high "

And I really mean it. With me, with my non-stop laughing, and him with his hand gesture, it really crack me up man. Oh, I saw Atai, but didn't confront her, she was on the other side. Saw An Spade at KFC. Eating lunch with Hafiz, is worth it, 'why? I was really very full, kenyang ketawe. After having lunch, we've even hyper. I got a little headache though. I don't like crowds. It give me headaches. hmm.

Bused to Shukor's. Gave him the money and we had no idea where to go next. Ended up buying bbt. Then Hafiz head back home, while I slacked with Jbz. Not much were there though. They are playing soccer. Idrees felt, and it was hillarious. hahaha. They played soccer, in a very creative way. Sat and slack. I drew their names on Khai's notebook. I was bored you see. Soon, I head back home. [sha, kau punye "soon", tak boleh bawak percaye.]

Reached home, got a text message from Khadri. Meet him up then. Did a little catching up while waiting for his bus. Saw Afiq and Khai jogging. haha. I wanted to meet someone so much, So, that was basically about today. I know, the way I post seems like as if it was a boring day, but I had hell of a fun time. With Hafiz, laughing almost everytime, and with Jbz, but what luck, didn't get to see someone.

As for yesterday, wednesday, dance practice loh. Woke up because Hafiz called me 5 minutes before my alarm rings -.- Hung up 'cause obviously, I have to bath. Brought my laptop along, but up to no use, 'cause Kakak ended up using Cikgu's laptop. After almost two months of not carrying heavy bag, my back ached! Just carrying laptop -.- Practice was alright. More to burshing up of the other group. Practice orient and promo dance once, few changes here and there, and I tell you, for the orient that comes first before promo, the dance, HANCIS! hahaha! I had good time laughing, but ohhwell. Jiliah showed us the dance step for CNY. Lawar lah abih! Cannot wait to start learning it. (*excited baby) Oh, which reminds me, WELCOME BACK JYL :)

Jiliah got a very very bad leg cramp. Both legs. And she cried. Omfg. And the school's office is really not helping I tell you. Rasyidah was our life saver. Lesson learnt, really really take warming up seriously, 'cause yesterday, I doubt anyone did any, since Kakak and myself came later.

After prac yesterday, I plan to slack with Jbz. Becoming a routine already -.- haha. But I went back home to put my laptop first, waited for them to ring me up, ended up texting them, saying I'm not coming and I jumped to bed. Without myself realising, I actually picked up a call -.- And it was someone on the line. haha. I was sleeping, for real. And it was rather embarrassing, 'cause aku kalau tengah ngantuk, aku selenger gilala. haha. Hung up, and continued my sleep. You know, going back late everyday is rather tiring.

At around 1900, with myself realising again, I actually picked up a call -.- Hafiz was on the line. He's like somewhat, my automatic alarm clock you see -.- Didn't continue sleeping though. Magrib. Watch the soccer match, and it was a boring match 'cause S'pore didn't score any goals -.- Never mind. I will be heading down to SNS with Hafiz, plus some of my schoolmates, and my cousin, Dinie, to catch the match between Singapore and Vietman. Cannot wait! Confirm best!

So, that's about it. I miss someone. haha. He's holding to his promise :] I like. See Hafiz, people can change! A promise is a promise, you know. Idrees is going off to KL tomorrow, so they, dotsdotsdots and _____ told me, he didn't. Ceydebah. He went down, when I just went off -.- hmm. Nvm. There's some other day though.

```

It's getting a little aggitating. Does it kill to have a boy, as you bestfriend? Some has been coming up to me, and asking about all those very irritating questions, and Hafiz was asked the same questions too. And some, for the same people who asked me -.- Please lah people. Wake up. Time has change you know. Girls not only mix around with girls now. And guys not only with guys. I prefer a guy as a close friend, better that a girl, why? Frankly, they don't bitch. And, I believe a guy understands a girl better, and both of us [Hafiz and myself], jolly well know who each of us like/love, wtv. Stop assuming lah! -_-" Irritating lah.

I miss someone though. hmm. I keep playing the part he sent me home. You know, he wasn't him -.- And when he isn't him [-.-] he talk a lot more than he usually does, and I like it way better, 'cause it's super cute, though he talks no sense at time. But whatever it is, hehehe. Okay lah. Enough lah Sha.

And ohhhhhhhh! My little brother got into JYSS next year. Which means, I'll be going to school with my little brother, ohhyeah! ^^ I prefer my little brother being in the same school with me. Wearing the same uniform with me. Cool kan? I like. I seriously love him, and I don't know why. My brother what! I have someone to go to school with now, baik! I like!

Back then, when I was in P3, my little brother in K2, mum actually wanted him to be schooling in JYPS instead XNPS, and what did I do? Cry. Yes, cry. I don't know lah. Like I've said earlier, I would prefer my brother being in the same school with me. At least, I can look out for him. I promised my parents to take good care of my little brother, and that is what I'm doing.

Since mum is working tomorrow morning, I have to go to school with Ahmad Noor Fami tomorrow to get him registered -.- So, joining tarian later. Somehow, cannot wait for next year. But I still have homework undone. Dead Shasha, dead!

And ohyeah. I lost 2kg! Great or what? hahaha! I like it, ah-ha ah-ha. hahaha. Plus, my hair is being such a goody. Not going to cut it already. 'Cause I like it now. Yeahyeah ^^

2008-12-16T23:23:00.003+08:00

My hand is aching, left hand. I don't know why exactly. I'm addicted to the song that Syayie thought was some dead person's song. Blame it on someone.

Was suppose to meet Hafiz on Sunday, but so sorry, I woke up only at 5 in the afternoon. Janji An turun pun, tak turun. Sorry lah. Member menganga siak. haha.

Yesterday was some what a slacky long day. Woke up early for dance. Something bad happen when we're waiting for kakak to come. We were shouted by _____. I didn't feel anything though. haha. 'Cause I wasn't the cause why he shouted. I was very very sleepy.

After all those unnecessary thing, moved from the hall to rifle range and we start practicing on our own after knowing that kakak isn't coming actually. Practice was rather dry. It was okay. Since I wasn't dancing much [conducting the practice kan], I can see improvements. Big or small, at least the effort is there. That's what that counts, but frankly, I cannot teach _____ already. I'm a impatient person when it comes to teaching people like _______. I have this habit of you know, never mind. The seniors [minus Jiliah that's away] camwhored, and I simply adore a picture of, myself, not because of me, but the meaning it holds. Credits to Syayie though, for taking the picture for me. LOL. Hafiz know about the picture. [kawanbaik tak simpan pape btwn sendirisendiri, betul?]

After dance, I was really very confuse, whether to turun or just go back. Since Syayie's plan was canceled, so we walked around nbp. Got bored, we proceed to skate, but head back to nbp after getting a call.

Lepak. Syayie and myself ended up laughing at those distorted pictures of jbz. Sorrylah. Blame my useless phone lah. Very hopeless. hahaha. Next time I bring my cam along lah. hahaha. Dengan satu kepale panjang, satu pipi sebelah kempes, satu mulut termasuk lah, mulut panjang lah, I cannot help but laugh out loud. Very. Head back home, but found out no one was home, so I joined them again. Mendak-i. Then I bid goodbye, bought bbt and home sweet home.

Went online at night, chatted and stuff. Slept around 0430 in the morning, drawing, sudoku, coloring, singing, golek-golek. haah.

Woke up at 0815 this morning. Fikirkan nak paitau, but goodgirl. Bath, meet at 0900, I went out of house at 0900, and reached school 5 minutes later, the meeting have yet to begin. Dry run was, dry, too. haha. Mainly for icebreakers and morning games. Everyone was moody, so I cannot really try out everything, but it's okay. Hopefully coming Tuesday's second dry run would be much better, and more productive -.-

After meeting, asked Hafiz to join me for lunch, but he was at his granny's. Wanted to make up for the day that I really overslept, but ohhwell. So, Hafiz called and we talked otp. I was with Mamat then. I'm like a business women today -.- People keep calling me, cey! First, Hafiz called, hung up because my phone ah, the he called back. Hung up, because? Idk. Kakak called, asking me to bring down my laptop to shool tomorrow -.- Then Abg Jo called. While otp, Hafiz called again, so had to end the call with Hafiz, sorry lah. Not as if Abg Jo call as frequent as you right. The hung up. Otw back from CC and buying bbt, Hafiz called again. Baik aper? Hung up and never called back. haha.

I wanted to make a move, at my normal timing, but they asked me to wait. Waited loh. When they reached, very noisy. With different "attitude". Idrees got hyper and kept whispering into my ears.

Went back later than usually. Someone sent me home. Unbelievable oh whuat? haha. But funny lah -.- Reached home, straight to the toilet, I'm shivering, Idkw. Then find food, eat and went online. Tarian tmr, and I'm very sleepy already.

It has been a week? I've been sleeping around four and waking up at eight. Very tiring I tell you. I think I'm going to turn in now. hahaha. Byeeeeeeeeee.

And ohh, Syayie said my blogskin loads very slow, so I'm going to make a new one [in the process], and I'll change it once I'm done with it. Till then, bare with it uh.

i had ultra fun time!

2008-12-13T20:19:00.006+08:00

Okay, lets go! I shall update about my best two days, Thursday and Friday. Spending times with my two favourite group of people, my best guy friends, and jbz respectively. ♥

(my eyes shinyshiny, i like!)

Look at the picture, I mean, it's 1030 am, right? That's the time, when Hafiz planned, to pick me up on Thursday, and get ourselves bubbletea of our favourite flavour, but guess what? He called me at 1045 am, and said he just got out of the toilet. But frankly, I don't mind though. You're lucky I tell you! haha. Padang kawan punye pasalkan.

So, I went out to get my bubbletea, alone. How sad. Boo~ Actually, I didn't plan to get it alone, blame Koi. I was already on my way to his block, which is only 4 to 5 blocks away, and he then only texted me saying he wanted to eat first, and I was already halfway thru. Menyakitkan hati. So, to waste my time, that's the only thing I can think off.

After getting my bbt, made my way back to Koi's block. Waited for him to put his shoes on, for like, 15 minutes?

" Berape pasang kasut kau pakai? "

Irritated. I don't like waiting for people, but at times, people have to wait for me. haha. Then waited for Ayim, then bus to interchange. Waited for Hafiz -_________-"

It is so UN-GENTLEMEN (!) I have to wait for all three of the BOYS, when I'm the girl. Like, wth gitukan. But, ohh well.

Training down to Pasir Ris was boring. haha. But it was funny 'cause we actually, disturbed the "bodyguard" [pictures previous post], and his facial expression changes. Waited for the bus to Downtown East was a bitch I tell you. Berejam sey.

So we talked about tons of things. Reached ETP, bought tix, enter ah. We didn't know were to start first. We walked aimlessly, and too the Pirate Ship first. Since Shukor and myself wore the same coloured shirt, WITHOUT PLAN, we kinda get bullied that day. Shukor and myself have to sit together at the very end, of one end, while Ayim and Hafiz and the very end of the other end. hahaha.

Everything the ship goes down, I'll look down, and scream. hahaha. And when the ship goes up, I'll look at Hafiz's face. hahahaha! And Shukor's legs was shaking, shivering. hahaha! Then, we queued for the I-called-remember-what-thing, you know those cups (?) that goes around and around, up and down near the entry there, lol. But too bad, while queuing, something happened, and the machine didn't stop, when it should have, so it was closed -.- Inverter and Rainbow was closed too. So, we entered the haunted house. hahaha! First time, not so scary. 'Cause the tour guide was in front of us, laughing at us though.

Then it rained -.- So, we walked around, and decided to eat at BK. Was very disappointed with the food though.

Enter haunted house again. Okay, second time, creepy. The tour guide went missing, and suddenly pop up right in front of Hafiz, with his torchlight under his chin, you know, to scare us, Hafiz and I screamed. hahaha! Hafiz was the first one, in front, and he felt! Member terperanjat sampai jatuh terduduk, naseb aku yg tukang tarik baju dia, tak terjatuh sekali.

Then we walked around. And by then, heavy rain. Okayokay, I think, we sit first before going in the haunted house the second time, okay, mixed up ah. Wtv. Still, it happened on that day kan. Okay crap.

Since it rained heavily, I really mean it, heavily, so we sat one corner [step corner lagi], and start cam whoring, and playing games. Then, we watched Teen Titans perform. hahaha. Kelakar. But saddening huh? Not much watching, 'cause it rained and everyone went back home. Kalau lah aku yg perform, hampe gilala siol.

Then, we entered the haunted house again, okay literally. Shukor didn't want to join. Lupe-lupenye, ada org lagi kodi dah aku, si kokoi ah. HAHA. So, I thought it was just another "machine-ghost" thing, you know, but once we stepped our foot in, ALL THREE OF US, realised, something different. Then the "ghost" came forward you see, it moved! So, Hafiz and Ayim ran forward, leaving me behind, and that bloody human-looking-ghost came forward, running towards me, takde lengah-lengah lagi, sepantas kilat, I ran out through the front door. haahahahahahaha! I even scratched the "door-girl" who's in my way. hahahaha. Came running towards Shukor. Story tell him, and he went " Nasib baik aku tak masuk! " hahah! Ccb.

Waited for Hafiz and Ayim to exit the haunted house, and the looked freaking ass terrified, can? hahaha! Hafiz told me, there's 3 human-ghost in there. Inikan the first one, aku tak lepas, ape lagi 3 kan? hahaha.

Ayim begged me and Shukor to enter for the one last time, before we head home, I was like 30-70%, 70% WANTING to go in [amazing, I know!], but that 30% of me just don't feel like going. So, we ended up not going in 'cause Shukor just won't want to go.

The staff there, blew balloon, and gave it to us, no kid what! hahaha. Then we head back home after that. Bought bbt and it taste horrible, the best bbt is central's uh. Regular customer. hahaha. And ohh, while trying to finish our bbt, Shukor's sword balloon poped. And, all of us actually screamed. hahaha. He's such an ass. He used his "sword" and kononnye nak fight some flying insect, and it poped! hahaha. Then he poped 2 of the petal of my balloon flower. Then the rest of the petal fell out. Tinggal tangkai jek, simpan buat kenangan sudah koi! Then trained and bus home. Hafiz took bus home went his house is only, few blocks away from Jp. Such an ass! hahaha.

They sent me home, under my void deck. Reached home, bathed and then went online to upload all the pictures.

Someone went online, I was a happy kid then. Chatted till 0400 plus in the morning. Slept at 0500 and woke up at 0815.

Amazingly, I can wake up early. Bath, went out. I thought I was late, reached school, saw Ziana and Sue at the school foyer. Oh, saw Shiykin at school's bus stop too. Practice for sec 1 orient, and sec 1 promo.

Same step, different positioning, different people, rather hay wired. Practice time was extended last minute, aku pun naik haywire sekejap. Tarian ended at around 1445 ? Not sure though, but I went back home straight after debrief.

Otw back, got a call for Azwan. Rather random though. And surprising. Asked me to text him after that, and I didn't! hahaha. Stick to one. hahaha! Bath, got dress, very lazy to iron clothes la okay, so I was looking rather selekeh, but who cares.

Meet someone and gang at XNPS's bus stop. Bused to int. Though I was late, but I was made to wait [eh, rhyme!] Reached int., had to wait some more. Actually plan, was at 1500, but we're still at control station 1630 -________-"

Trained to City Hall. Trying to find bag and stuff. From Penin to Raffle City, to Marina, Esplanade, and back to Jurong.

Penin, walked aimlessly. No use going there actually. Raffle City, haha! Someone was called bisu, how saddening? Marina, some of the jbz bought topman shirt. I didn't bring my membercard along. So, no point shopping. Dok satu corner tengukkan sua. hahaha. Had breakfast/lunch/dinner at LJS, one meal only yesterday, and my drink fell. How embarassing. Didn't finish my food though. Found some bag shop, but org bijak ah nih, fuck up siol. Diam jek. Esplanade, problemo problemo -.-

Some cock-up thing happen, walauwey. Reached Jurong, lepak at nbp. And I head back home, since it's rather late, and they ... Out of words already ah -.-

Reached home, bath, went online and Mat called. Frankly, I'm getting irritated by him, really. Sent Idrees song. Chatted with him. Happy loh. Chatted about someone [duh], our primary school life, about p6 and he remembered about klorex, rofl. Memories man! Chatted about Saidi selua koyak. hahaha. And even about studies. Asked me, where I planned to go after sec. life, hah. Not sure myself though. Both jc and poly, offers different things you know. Still thinking thru.

Went offline, locked my room door 'cause I want to sleep till very late, but adik knocked on my room door hard at around 1400 plus, and I couldn't get back to sleep. Wth.

As for today, chatted all day long. Planning to have lunch with Fiz tomorrow, let see how thing goes.

Sidetrack!

After Syayie gave me a link, I got somewhat pissed. Same hair, same patterned shirt, same makeup, what's up with that man? But ohh well, that prove that we're good, and they're NOT! hahahaah. Sheeeh~ Wtv. I would rather take it as a compliment ;]

I have fun this two days, thanks a lot koranggggggggggggg!

When the day arrive, I'll treasure it very much.

I'll treasure you even more.

But till then, I'll keep hoping for it, to come.

2008-12-13T18:34:00.004+08:00

Heavy image up!

Kay, not really lah. 'Cause I'm very lazy to upload all 112 pictures.

Update next post.

lol. my first brother is singing and i think, it's freaking funny, but ohwell. he's my brother afterall. hahahaha.

Kaykay shuttup. Uploading in progress....

Eh, start looking at the pictures from the bottom la okay. hahaha.

Seriously. I start writing the caption from below.

hahahahahha!

MD SHUKOR BIN SOEWITO, that never fails to call me "eh pendek!"

MD HAFIZ BIN ABDOH, the one that I actually dared, to call my bestf.

look at those, BEHIND ME!

he's there for me, all the time. hopefully, this friendship last, okay?

aku sayang kau jugak la, cb. hahaha.

tenguk muke hafiz, tenguk muke hafiz, hahahah!

seriously, they need help.

but malangnye dihampekan bile diri sebelah kokoi.

i looked tall right?

nak step fierce pigang pedang gitu, beh senyum -.-

haha. koi muke, haha.

hafiz, with my flower, that pop-ed thanks to shukor!

he has a very fierce, and soft side, he said so himself. haha!

hafiz lost his nose in the haunted house, shukor grew horns, and ayim wanted to be blind for 3 seconds.

we got balloons of our fav. colours, except for hafiz, which isn't sure of his fav. colour -.-

tangan not needed! and shukor is a bad cameraman! unlike me. lol.

we wore purple top, and black&white shoe on that day, without plan.

[luckily i didn't wear my checkered pants, or we'll look the same from top to bottom o.0]

aku malas nak lari, so just sit there loh.

my hair look very thick though.

GaBy! [GAyBoY]

Dorang ada bodyguard dok.

fun gilala.

2008-12-12T11:11:00.000+08:00

I have like, 112 pictures for today's outing, so be patient. I'll update, tomorrow, or the day after.

LOL ah.

i had kicking ass fun today. shiok ah.

am i really, that fat? o.0

2008-12-10T18:20:00.007+08:00

1. Last night, did u go to sleep happily?

- not at all. i was hoping to receive some text message though after receiving a call, but ohhwell.

2. When was the last time you changed clothes in front of someone?

- yesterday. lol. infront of my brother. don't worry, i was wearing spag inside -.- he's my little brother after all.

3. Anyone told you a secret this week?

- more to personal life.

4. Did you have a good day yesterday?

- somewhat yes, 'cause i received a phone call from someone, rather special.

5. What was the highlight of today?

- bleah~ dance practice?

6. Do you ever turn your cell phone off?

- nope. what for have a phone, correct? unless it is dead by itself la.

7. What happened at 3:00am today?

- just dozing off.

8. When was the last time you took a picture with your number 1 friend?

- way back then. in a bus, otw back home from breaking fast together, how long was that? lol. nvm. tomorrow maybe new photo(s)?
(last picture we took together, before they align from the bus. rambut very the masai misai you know.)

9. Do you hate anyone?

- (*answering in a very disappointed tone) yes.

10. Do they know who they are?

- who what? the one i hate? yes obviously. too well.

11. What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?

- bread? crackers?

12. When did you last cry?

- the night i came back from ECP. very traumatizing i tell you. aku dah kodi.

13. Have you ever collapsed on the bathroom floor?

- because i dance like an idiot and fell? yes. (*giggle) BUT! i was little then though.

14. Do you have a good relationship with your mother?

- obviously. sudah pasti. everywhere she goes, she'll bring me. 'cause! i'm her one and only "girlgirl". [haha, she call me "girlgirl", i like it though.]

15. When was the last time you bought something?

- today. a can of chrysanthemum tea. hahaha.

16. Have you ever told someone you love them?

- yesyes, obviously. i'm not cold-hearted dey.

17. Do you continue fighting in an argument even though you know you're wrong?

- frankly, yes. hahahaha!

this part fiz will go "sha ego lebih!" hahaha! cey -.-

18. Where were you yesterday?

- home. goodgirl mah!

19. Is there anyone that calls you baby?

- nope. no one. how sad? hahhaha.

20. In the next 2 months what are you looking forward to the most?

- something slivery newly displayed in the school's foyer cupboard (?) cupboard eh cupboard. idk lah. haha.

21. Why?

- because then only prove a lot to everyone, plus, that will be my first and last, i guess.

22. Who did you last called?

- first brother, asking if he wants to pack something to eat. good sister right? i know.

23. What are you thinking of right now?

- hmm. not thinking much though, but waiting for the phone to ring is more like it.

24. When and where was the last time you partied?

- i don't party, 'cause i don't really like that kind of a huge crowd.

25. Have you ever sat and waited for someone to come online?

- not literally, but if he does, it will not only make my day, my week, my month, cey! dasyat kau sha.

26. When was the last time you laughed so hard you thought you were going to cry?

- yesterday! after someone called, hafiz called. he was .... and he's such an ass and made a funny song, and the way he talk, doesn't make sense at all. aku pun mcm dah biase, not!, layankan jek ah.

27. Have any crazy family members?

- when we are together with our relatives, everyone turns crazy.

28. Did you tell someone something today?

- someone? not yet though. unless he contact me first.

29. Do you like make-up?

- if you're talking about compact and eyeliner, yesyes!

30. Do you like dressing up?

- not literally. i'll feel like a clown. i like casual wears, something comfy yet pleasant to eyes.

31. Have you ever considered a sex change?

- mengucap panjang aku. no! not at all.

32. What will you buy next?

- tix to ETP maybe? or maybe not. lol.

33. Are you bored?

- nope. 'cause my crazy BESTF. is online. hahaha. wth?

34. What's on your mind right now?

- quite a lot of things though.

35. What are you wearing?

- shirt and a short, duh -.-

36. Any plans for today?

- it's already late. i would rather stay home and plan for tomorrow (*grin)

37. What's the connection between you and the last person that called you?

- hafiz? bestfriends? lol. he's such an ass, calling me up at 0815 in the morning. but good thing though, 'cause i need to wake up for dance practice -.-

38. What's your favorite Gatorade flavor?

- Gatorade? is it the isotonic drink? wait - research in progress* [semang-ke, aku tau]

Okay, correct. Er, got strawberry flavor? o.0

39. What's the nicest text in your inbox say?

- " Haha. Joking laa. I tk pape. Hmms. Nyte2 swtdrms strawberi(= bye2 "

" Lupe.. Love u! Haha "

(hehehe) (*grin)

40. What's beside you right now?

- table, with mum's laksa, nice can?

41. Where do you want to be right now?

- nowhere but here, home. somewhere very save :]

42. What is it that you find so hard to forget?

- him. three years leh. haha. okay lah, enough lah sha. obviously, all those peoples that really matters to me like my family and my bestf. and those close friends that are left? heck care lah -.-

```

Actually, I got nothing to post about. 'Cause it's wed, and the only thing I had today was dance. And that's about it. I can't stop eating, and Koi just chatted with me and

<-[ Kokoi Dunk Ollie ]-> Rave-Rock-Reggae says (8:06 PM):
omg natasha!
<-[ Kokoi Dunk Ollie ]-> Rave-Rock-Reggae says (8:06 PM):
u look chubby nk mampos!
<-[ Kokoi Dunk Ollie ]-> Rave-Rock-Reggae says (8:07 PM):
seriusly
<-[ Kokoi Dunk Ollie ]-> Rave-Rock-Reggae says (8:07 PM):
look at ur cheeks
<-[ Kokoi Dunk Ollie ]-> Rave-Rock-Reggae says (8:07 PM):
nad ur hand
<-[ Kokoi Dunk Ollie ]-> Rave-Rock-Reggae says (8:07 PM):
and*
- natasha says (8:07 PM):
shuttup lah.
- natasha says (8:07 PM):
hahaha.
<-[ Kokoi Dunk Ollie ]-> Rave-Rock-Reggae says (8:07 PM):
omg!!!
- natasha says (8:08 PM):
sheeeh~

IS IT THAT OBVI? wth. sheeeh~ -__________-

Hafiz went offline because my internet got dc. Eh hello. Ala. Kay lah. Bye. I want to eat more of mum's laksa. Fat fat uh. hahhaha.

Edit :
Read something. WTH? I asked you along, you said you don't want but wth lah kay. Tak suke cakap ah okay. (*blood boiling siol)

screwed.

2008-12-09T18:26:00.005+08:00

This is how screwed my blog looks like in IE.

And it looks fine in GC, and MF.

So to those that is using IE, you can download Mozilla FireFox @ MF , or Google Chrome @ GC. So pick one. haha. Promoting or what. Frankly, I prefer GC more than MF, even though MF is way cooler. The only reason why I like GC is that, I can drag a new tab, into a new window. Get me? No? Go "Learn about Google Chrome »" haha. Kay, enough of promoting ah Sha.

Woke up at 1600 hour today. I know, late. I think I would still be sleeping if I didn't [insert reason]. Like what okay. Won't elaborate about it. Memalukan. I forgotten to set alarm for today's meeting, like wth. So I didn't attend today's meeting. Hopefully, I didn't miss a lot, I totally forgotten about it, sigh.

Anw, yesterday was Hari Raya Haji. Woke up around 0800 in the morning. No one was home. Obviously, Ayah and my 3 brothers was away, praying. I wonder how about someone. hmm. Bath, iron clothes, got ready. Ate, alone -.- haha. 'Cause everyone ate already when I was getting ready. When out of the house later than usual.

Head Admiralty first. Help ibu out, cooking. Around 1400 hour, we made a move. Reached rumah nenek jurong, everyone was there already. Help Danish complete his "picture". You know, those cartoon pictures, which you have to peal the sticker off and colour it with coloured-sand? Yes. Kecoh. Danish was being a kid [duh!] and when I asked him to pour (?) a little sand, he actually poured the whole thing -.- Terus aku mangkuk. Menga sekejap. While I was the one having to finish it, [Nazurah & Danish do it half way, being me, I don't like to do things halfway -.-] Abg Haikal took out two tubs of Häagen-Dazs ice cream, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough and Cookie and Cream. I wanted to eat so much more, but my throat is killing me. Watch videos of out recent ECP family outing, my hair, look so thick and long can? Look only lah, actually not that thick.Kembang lebih. Watch the video that we played the "fighting" game. Abang Is was the one caring me up. I saw how much he suffered, hahahah! Kene tolak, tarik semua.

" Abang Is! Abang paling gerek! " - Abang Is [must listen to him say it, funny.]

Had a nap until the cake that I help bake, is already baked. LOL. I did mostly everything okay. And it turn out extremely nice! So, that cake was Abang Is's b'day cake. Sang him a b'day song, cut the cake and makan!

Then karaoke some more. Wait for Ayah to fetch us. Reached home, wash my make-up off, change and Dad drove us back to Admiralty. Little brother is sleeping over there till next week. It has been 1 year, since I last over-night there. I can't -.- For the most obvious reason, dance practice. Dad then drove us to 24 hour coffeeshop, pack food back home. Reached home, ate, and then I was texting someone away. Night routine? Then I slept.

I planned to cut my hair today, but woke up extremely late, so I'll be cutting it, Idk when. Okay bye.

" titatemamemowawawewiwelo . "

2008-12-07T19:46:00.005+08:00

I'm bored. Bleah. Currently watching match between Singapore and Myanmar. Singapore leading baby, 3-1. Oh yeah. I'm seriously bored. Hafiz away, hanging out with his friends I suppose, someone , is "busy" doing "homework", so I have to wait, An Spade have yet to appear. Usually he's the one that tolerate my crap, except for yesterday, 'cause he ...

Okay best, Singapore won the match, 3-1. Next up, Indonesia? I think. LOL. Currently, yes, currently again, chatting with Alim about the match that just ended. Like, rofl, no other topic but soccer. Cannot be blame, soccer freak oh what. Okay, at least someone entertaining me, correct.

Hafiz and myself planning outing, but bleah -______-" Don't know yet. I've somewhere in mind, to replace going to beach, again. You know, 2 days of going to beach, makes me look very black, worse than just "tanned" I tell you. More like burned? hahaha! So, no beach, period. Hafiz asked me to ask someone along. HAAAAAAAAH! I'll turn out mute for the rest of the day instead of being the most ~~becok~~. And if I want to scream, I won't. You know where I'm heading right, so yeah. LOL. Yet to be confirm. Sheeh.

Time check : 10.09PM

Okay, finally my fan works. Like wth. It broke down few days ago, like hell. So I used the small fan, that's suppose to be in the computer room. LOL. And today, I accidentally broke it. haha. Sha ganas. The head, some what came off a little, dengan penuh confy, I tried to fix it with ... rubber band. Now, it cannot even start -.- And thank god my standing fan is working, I left the pluck since like 5 minutes ago, so kire, engine just started ah -.- If it didn't, I'll wake up in a puddle of sweat. hahaha.

Currently waiting for someone to text me. Imh. Sigh.

I'm pissed right now. Like wth ah. Idk if Hafiz get why I'm mad, but instead dia pun mangkuk ngan aku. Kau, sedih sia. Tapi, never mind. Sigh. Alah, never mind lah. Bleahhhhhhhhhhhh. Getting on my nerve sia.

And oh, yesterday night, takde goodnight wish, 'cause why? I fell asleep already. Saddening uh. Wake up jek, put on a long face. But it's okay, it's alright. Lesson learn. " Kalau ngantuk, tengah message², takmu silentkan hp bengap! " Sigh. End hey ah, merepek uh.

i'm black - tanned (!)

2008-12-06T20:01:00.008+08:00

(*wink)

I haven't blog for a week! I have so much to update now, which seriously, made me so lazy to type it all out man. Some people has been asking me to update, I know my blog very interesting right (*wink) Eleh! haha. So, please, it's going to be a freaking long post, 1 week of not updating man -.- Sedangkan, 2 ke 3 hari tak update, dah panjang, apekan 7 hari, correct? Since it'll be very long so, wrong grammar, vocab, spelling, you know me ah. Warning already. ahahaha!

Before I start, I miss BBS (*frown). He texted me two day straight, sampai terbangun-bangun dengar lagu spongebob, but he didn't text me today. Sigh. I miss his cute face, hahaha!

Kaykay. Stop. I'll try my freaking best to recall ah, okay? hahaha.

On Friday - 28 Nov,

What did I do uh? Oh, confirm tarian. Friday mah, correct? What happened ah? Cannot remember. Sorry uh -.- I think, that was the day, when I got fucked up teaching _____. I cannot take it already. On a lighter note, it's a plus for us seniors, that our two juniors, Ziana, Farzana, and Shidah, are improving, but _____, is no where near acceptable, at all. Peluh jek lebih. Sorry, I seriously cannot remember what happened on that day -.- Brrr!

On Saturday - 29 Nov,

Fun day, fun day! Woke up early in the morning. Bathed, pack my bag, and ayah drove us to ECP. Reached there first, find a place. There was this makcik, aunty and uncle sitting there. My aunts were making a whole lot of noises. Hint: to get rid of them, so we can fully occupy the place.

After everyone arrived, had breakfast, changed, apelagi tunggu, berendam ah! hahaha. I don't know how long we actually swam, but seriously, fun! (pictures, not in order)

1st - My smallie ollie boyf. [right real, cousin got ah], i like his hair, naturally curly at the back, straight fringe, haiya.
3rd - Sorry Abg Dan, tercover muke, lol. My hair look very cacat, and look Danish and Wee, hilarious. Played the "angkat-angkat" game, fight2 that one lah [tarian babes should know], and I was the last one standing. Waaaweee! Best ah!

Second last picture, my hand look very weird, very the cacat. hahahaha! We swam, we ate, we played games, we swam, and eat, played games, and swam again. LOL! I was so tanned by then. But I had super fun time. I didn't plan to swim, but it was fun. We played water bomb, we played those, tie-hand-together-and-solve-it-game, idk lah. But, we was on the verge of giving up, we restart like 5 times? But the last one we endure like hell, and we managed to solve it. It seriously, bond us, those that played. A huge group alright.

Wee, Umie, Acik, Paman, Zyra, Kak Arah, Kak Linda, Abg Idad, Abg Is, Mak Long, Abg Dan, Dinie, Abg, and myself. I think that's it, sorry if I left out any names. After that game, we wanted to swim for the last time, but we're all dried already, so we rinse and bath. Then played bingo. At night, my friends pick me up, and we ton.

What happen, was for me to know, and for you to find out. But it really is scary. Who knows, I trust you. He was very cute. I can't help but smile. I was treated very nicely. I enjoyed that night, most of it at least. He was really, very degil, and wanted to buy me panadol, which I haven't eat yet, till today, hahaha. If he didn't, I think we can prevent a lot of things, but oh-well.

On Sunday - 30 Nov,

At around seven in the morning we bused back home, I was coughing like nobody's business. Everyone was irritated, sorry lah -.- I slept in the bus, 'cause I vividly remember, I slept for only two hours the day before. Reached home around 1000 hours.

Texted ibu saying I'm home. My actual plan was to bath and sleep till late, but ibu replied asking me to be ready, under the void deck by 10 minutes time. Took my time to bath, slept in the car. Ayah drove us to bedok.

The moment I step my foot at my cousins' place, all I did was to sleep on their sofa [sitting], till the moment ibu said it was time to go back home. It was raining heavily. I was wearing my hoods, luckily. Trained back to BL. Abang, ibu and myself had lunch at banquet, while adik head home, alone.

I was seriously sick, coughing still, so I had yong-tau-fu, how ever you spell it lah, and my fav. popiah. I was full then. Ibu wanted to buy some kitchen things at ntuc. Then we bused back home. Reached home, I went online, then sleep for the rest of the day. I know, I'm a piggy. Wth. Who cares. I'm sick leh. LOL.

On Monday - 1 Dec,

Had tarian, obviously. Oh, before that, hello Dec, goodbye Nov. How time flies? Sheeh. Tarian was as per-normal. Attendance was really, bad lah. Shiykin was away for camp, Rosnani when MIA [actually no lah], Lyn out of town, Naresha sick -__________-" We were practicing when Didi voice out saying she won't make it for out 20 Dec tarian outing. So, that got me screaming. hahaha! Eh, five seniors must must have, okay? No offence thou.

So, we discuss more, between our break, and after training ended. So, we ended up with a date, Wednesday, the 3rd. Which means, 2 days aways. Everyone was panicking. No choice. No other dates. After tarian, Syayie met her boyf., while kakak, jil and myself had lunch first and kfc while waiting for her. We planned some games and the minutes. Like, what time we might be reaching and stuff, so everyone can have a very enjoyable time, no worries what so every.

Syayie came around 4 going 5, and we start buying things to cook for Wed. Gedebak-gedebuk, we forgotten to buy chili -.-

On Tuesday - 2 Dec,

Woke up early. Receive text from Syayie that she couldn't come alone. A turn down. But it's okay. She's sick, might as well she stays home and rest, so the next day she can follow. So, got dress, meet her under her void deck at 0950 hours to get the fund money and my money, when I'm suppose to be at BL control station my 1000 hours.

Reached there on the dot, well no, slightly later, but I had to wait for Didi, kakak and Jil for another 30 minutes. Tell me lah you're going to be late, at least I can have my breakfast or what. Kay like real. Shasha go breakfast alone? hahaha. Not going to happen -.- So, trained down to Chinatown. Since it was still early, Didi and myself had our late breakfast first. Spent hours there -.- Some bad luck happen to me. Some ass bird shitted on me, yes, very sway. hahaha! ccb! I cursed that bird the whole day I tell you. I was wearing my fav. boho skirt lagi -________-"

After getting frustrated over few things there, we got out stuff, and trained to Geylang. Walked to the boutique, but it was lunch time. Reached there 02.22 pm, and it's still not yet open by 03.33pm. Cool right? -.- Padahal gi makan sorang, berejam. Jil ngn aku dah bersile pat luar, sampai nak terbeh siak. hahaha. So, discuss this and that, tried to call cikgu, but couldn't get thru. So, we go jek ah.

Then trained down to Bugis. We were going crazy in TF. Sale mah, but I don't go for TF clothing, that much. Plus, I only brought a little that day. So, bought my tanktop and stuff from Bugis Street and we had lunch/dinner at Jp's banquet. Okay, they did. I didn't. Aku dah kering kontang. Didi treated us drinks, so ty. Bought batteries and then bused back home. Oh wait! No! We walked to this pasar malam, finding topeng. For CNY practice while waiting for the one we order to be ready lah. And guess what, kakak bought spiderman peh topeng. So, girls, hahaha! Imagine use dancing with spiderman topeng? HAHAHAHA! Cannot wait to laugh at each other I tell you. Plus, Didi and myself borong bende spongebob. Haha. Jil, Winnie the Pooh ah. Then head home. haha. I was coughing, still, sampai Didi mangs.

"Stop it eh Nat, stop it"

Sorry lah. Sick kan. Reached home, bathed and pack my bag. Then turned in.

On Wednesday - 3 Dec,

Thanks kakak! For miss calling and texting me, 'cause if she didn't, I would have still been sleeping when she came over. So, woke up at 0600 hours. Bath and help ibu fry 'cause she have to get ready herself for work. She went off first. Kakak and Jil came and help me pack while I change and pack some more.

Waited for Syayie at the playground. Played the swing. I know, childish, but it was ages ago since I played them, good times, good times. I miss my p6 mates man! Sigh. So, waited for her for almost an hour, it's okay babe. And bus to interchange. Some had arrived way before, like gosh. Waited for some people and trained down to Vivo. Bought tix to enter Sentosa via monorail. And there begins out camwhoring session. I swear, I had hell of a good time. But I'm totally tanned now. Sumpah! Ada becas cap baju. Obvi gilala punya!

The rest of the pictures, nak, mintak. I've already send it to Syayie, so can ask from her too.

I look retarded.

It's like as if, the seniors, and the juniors + second cca seniors -.-

Aku main lanyak jek. LOL.

I was laughing -.-

5 seniors :- Didi, Sue, Jyl, myself and Syayie [muke aku peh bul!]

" Buat muke candid " [and everyone pout, o.0]

That was present that day :]

Shida, Shahirah, Sue, Jyl, Syayie, myself, Didi, Ziana, Farzana.

Aku peh jari macam korek hidung Didi, hahaha!

Kecoh -.-

Going back, it was drizzling actually -.-

The "sand"man I made -_______-"

Syayie Tembam, she actually bent, she's way taller than me ah.

Told you she's tall. hahaha.

The rest of the picture, ask me la kay. We played volleyball, and the game that my family love to play. I introduced it to them. It's like :

You have to pair up in the water. The "stronger" one, have to carry your partner up on your shoulder. And they will sit on you, while they "fight" with the other team. Last one standing, wins. LOL.

If I play it with my family, I'm always at the top, 'cause I'm light. But with them, I'm the one having to carry people up. 'Cause all wanted to be the one fighting, sape mau pi angkat betul? Give in ah. I keep on carrying Ziana. Carried Didi and Jil too. Fun ah, right? That's the best game, correct? But that insect or what so ever that was biting was seriously an ass! Sakit siol badan! I reached home around 2000 hours.

As for Thursday - 4 Dec,

It was Syed Md. Syafiq's 15th B'day. I wished him late, 15 min jek. 'Cause I fell asleep. For the rest of the day, I didn't nothing but stay home. Texting someone. (*grin)

Friday - 5 Dec,

Friday whuat. So had tarian. Only the five seniors and Shida came. But she have to go off early. So we practice on the Sec 1 performance. An extra tiring dance prac -.- Met cikgu. And the head back home. Later at night, Hafiz came over. For only like, 1 minute? hahaha. To pass me my bubbletea! THANK YOU! I was yearning for it. Am now. Lol.

Yesterday night, someone went online. I lioke. hahaha. I'm going to update the convo. in private blog. I might invite people in, try your luck :D Fiz, nak bace? hahaha. u kalau nak bace bilang, i kasi acct. i u pi masuk bace puas-puas. hahaha.

As for today, Saturday - 6 Dec,

Stayed home the whole day. Was suppose to meet Hafiz, but I cannot go out. So, stayed home. Sigh. I'm coughing like mad again. Sigh. I want him to pamper me again, can? (*grin) Hadn't heard of him yet, nevermind. I got nothing else to blog about. So yeah. Bye!

And oh, I watched spongebob today, and I find this cute! Effing cute!

2008-11-27T20:14:00.002+08:00

A-alamak, just remembered, I need to ask my mum to write a letter, since I absent myself from dance yesterday. I didn't do it on purpose. Rather then going, and rolling on the school hall due to m. cramp, right? Plus my fever came back. Bloody hell I tell you. So basically, I woke up yesterday, walked to the living room, laid on the floor, text people, and I fell asleep, till around five, PM. Yes. I woke up, my nose was seriously blocked, blew it, and guess what, my nose was bleeding. My mucus contains blood. Okay, disgusting, but seriously true.

I was bathing, when I received a text message from Mat. He asked if yesterday's plan was still on. My initial was, after dance practice, I would go back home straight, wash up and meet him up, but all I did was to sleep. Told him my nose was bleedy, so he went like, "i'm hungry" and blaablaablaa, 'cause I promised him,long long ago, that I would treat him as a b'day "gift", nih dah case belated gile babi siak. Since I promised him, no choice to meet him up.

Orang sakit sampai dulu sebelum dia yang sihat. Choke blood [cekik darah]. I didn't eat much. Then treat him bubbletea. Then walk around nbp. It has been almost a year since I step there. Then walked to sp. Abg Saifful was there. Happy. When back home then.

As for today, woke up early. Bath and head for school. I recieved a text message from Mazidayu saying I'm one of the "lucky person" to be choosen to be the camp leaders. I was extremely overjoyed after recieving the message ah, abih? If my little brother joining my school next year, I'll make sure, I'll disturb him upside down. HAHAHAHAHAHAH! The meeting was really, nothing much. Since it ended at around 0930+, everyone thinks it was still to early to go back home, so I suggested we head Mac for breakfast. Dengan pantasnye semua agree. Waited for Marzie, then bused to Jp. I seriously, still couldn't believe it, that Fee and myself actually ate happy meal. HAHAHAHAHA! Eh, cute ape? I now have that Madagascar toy, the giraffe. "howhowhow?" hahaha. Then, we walked around and most of the shop is still close, it wasn't even 11 yet. Marzie and Anderson argued about time -.-

Marzie: My watch is my computer, handphone and idk what time.
Anderson: My watch is the world time [i think, can't remember lah]
Syafiqah: My watch is radio time.
Me: My watch tiger time -______________-

We was like, watch or not watch, a movie, but ended up not watching. I was short of 1bux, haha. 'Cause I finally bought my new headband -.- Kay lame. I haven't been going out lately, that explain why it's difficult for me to get the things I need. Bus home. Planned to go to Handerson's Wave, but Idk. Anderson didn't call me back. Some other day then.

There's another post, about the filicitating the p5 students at CPS, and dance training the day before, have yet to finish posting about it, in my draft. I'll finish it up soon. And filicitating them is ultra super dy duper fun thing. Very enjoyable! Except the part when I'm in need of _______. hahahaha! Tonggek sini, tonggek sane -.- Okay, I'm like rushing for nothing. Maybe to finish the other post up, so yeah. Salah sini sane, pandai2 betulkan. heeheh.

And oh, the other day, I went to TM right, with my family, right? There's this one convo. forgotten to write down. Freaking funny ah.

Since Abg Faizal was the star [karat] that came late, lol, every one was like, wispering to each other.

Ucu: 1, 2, 3!

All: *clap clap clap clap* *laugh laugh laugh laugh*

Abg Is: Okayokay. Nak call sape lagi tuk datang? Haikal? Arah?

Pakwak: Ah! Farah pat SP sini. Dekat jek. (*point to a direction)

Me: (*looking at watch: going 2200 already I think)

Abg Dan: Ehhhhhh! (*run up right in front of pakwak*) SP [S'pore Poly] ker, PS [Plaza Sing]?

Pakwak: (*pipi redred) Eh! A'ah! Kurang ajar kau Dan!

& at the end of the story? They played catching there. Funny ah! Must imagine. My uncle, talking with enthusiasm, sekali meaning lari gile, spotted by his own niece, paisey rabak. hahahahaha!

lyrics

2008-11-26T01:50:00.007+08:00

Leave (get out) by Jojo

I've been waiting all day for ya babe
So won't cha come and sit and talk to me
And tell me how we're gonna be together always
Hope you know that when it's late at night
I hold on to my pillow tight
And think of how you promised me forever
I never thought that anyone
Could make me feel this way
Now that you're here boy all I want
Is just a chance to say

[Chorus]
Get out, right now,
It's the end of you and me
It's too late and I can't wait for you to be gone
'Cause I know about her and I wonder how I bought all the lies
You said that you would treat me right but you was just a waste of time

Tell me why you're looking so confused
When I'm the one who didn't know the truth
How could you ever be so cold
To go behind my back and call my friend
Boy you must have gone and bumped your head
Because you left her number on your phone
(So now after all is said and done)
Maybe I'm the one to blame but
(To think that you could be the one)
Well it didn't work out that way

[Chorus]
Get out, right now,
It's the end of you and me
It's too late and I can't wait for you to be gone
'Cause I know about her and I wonder how I bought all the lies
You said that you would treat me right but you was just a waste of time

I wanted you right here with me but I have no choice you've gotta leave
Because my heart is breaking
With every word I'm saying
I gave up everything I had
On something that just wouldn't last
But I refuse to cry
No tears will fall from these
Ereee-eeee-eeee
Ooooh, ooooh
Get out

[chorus]
It's the end of you and me
It's too late and I can't wait for you to be gone
'Cause I know about her and I wonder how I bought all the lies
You said that you would treat me right but you was just a waste of time

I had enough.

You messed with the wrong girl.

You lied to the wrong girl.

You cheated the wrong girl.

I won't wait for karma.

I don't really care who you're going out with,

then, and now.

But you lied, mf.

:]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

2008-11-25T22:57:00.003+08:00

This picture reminds me of Irwan! (*rock on!)

I'm having my m. cramp, and it's very painful! I was squatting, and in a very funny posture today. Wrong timing! (*sigh) Kay lar, Kay lar. Lets post.

As for Monday, I had tarian. Like I previously posted, I might not be going for dance practice, right? But I did. 'Cause both Chairman and Vice wasn't there. As for Vice, obviously, 'cause I was still on bed at 0900 when Syayie texted me, 'cause I didn't want to go. I was too weak, but mesti mau semangatkan, so I got up, bathed, and Jil asked to meet up. Meet up, head to school, and every was going "sakit asal datang", now you tell me why -.- And kakak didn't came, tsk! The four seniors [minus Didi out, since she's away], was seriously, pissed off lah. So, we had to handle Monday's session ourselves. Since I was sick, I wasn't that enthu, but I did dance, so it won't seem unfair to the juniors, see, good senior. hahaha. We gave time for them to practice themselves, while we played other songs from Sec 1 Orientation, Sec 1 Promotion, and CNY performance. Kite "slack", dorang pun slack. And then, our dance practice looked like a boot camp to me, for 5 seconds only ah. Go thru all from the top, I was seriously stressed out with _______. Not only me ah, all ah. If only I can find a name to replace, wah, happy kededai siak.

So, after dance practice, we had lunch at KFC. Then, Din wanted to buy things at Jp. Bused there. Walked around. Din treated us bbt. Stick to my normal, strawberry milk tea and then we bused home. That was it for Monday.

As for Tuesday [today], I woke up extra early. At 0530. But I'm still late -________- I bath slow la. Can't help it man. hahaha. Meet Marzie @ school's busstop. Bused to Jp. Waited for Shiykin, then we took 181 you know. In the bus right, we were really, clueless. Funny thing happen in the bus la. I already pressed the bell, to drop somewhere, beh Marzie confident, but we ended up walking to Gp. Tak faham an? Takya faham. Funny ah. Marzie, Marzie. tsktsktsk. hahaha. Cannot be blame, wrong infomation. So, reached CPS, waited for Fee to bring us up to the hall. Not much were there. Marzie wanted to play/use the oh-so-old keyboard, switch it on, press press, no sound. Waste time being excited about it only. They asked who actually wrote their names down, lol. And I did lah. So sume mang. hahaha. Ps uh. haha.

After everything have started, Fee asked if I wanted to join these two girls from grp 7, or the other grp 6. I obviously, choose grp 6. 'Cause the other two falicitator look so much friendlier and hyper, whereas the other grp, one of the girl actually admitted to Fee that she "tak betul" or something. And they look, seleng gil. No offence. hahaha! So, I breaker. My name start with letter 'N' and I cannot think of any animal that starts with letter 'N' -______- The other two falicitator from my group was Iguana Irwan, and Pikachu Puteri.

After icebreaker, had breakfast. Lontong. Nice! The sambal, pedas. LOL. Then went up. Grp 6, aka Delima, had to attend this Dikir Barat session. It seriously remains me of my Sec One days. And the teacher (?) was focusing more on karut, Ala Ewa, and that was my role back then! Karut. And there's this one moment that I actually laughed at myself reminiscing those "Oh Mak Minah" days. And I was so tempted to just volunteer myself to play that kebane anak, but this camp for p5 right, not me, so nvm lah. hahhaha.

Lunch then. Rice with chicken. And that part, I started to run around, asking if anyone have any _____. Shiykin's former teacher came to the rescue -_______- Then ate with Shiykin and Marzie. Afterwards, I was running around, finding my group members. Mencacah sendiri sey. Went up to the hall then. And had out station activity then.

I wasn't that hyper then. I was in pain, cramp. And our burung merak turned out hideous. hahaha! And my group boys only do pillow -.- Weak siak. haha. I wanted to play along with them, especially this "galah panjang" game, but my cramp, really spoiled the fun man. But watching them, was fun enough.

After all those five stations, it's time to end everything. Carried food and drinks for my group members. Me and Adi had to distribute the food to the teachers.

Me: So, masih lepak with the same old bunch?
Adi: Huh? (*point to self)
Me: Ya. Oh! So, really ah. You don't remember me (*put a long face)
Adi: Ohhhhhhhh! Nih budak baju putih eh?
Me: Baju putih pun, baju putih lah. Sedih per tak ingat.

Took group pictures on stage. Irwan and myself was seriously random.

"Eh, buat rock on uh!"

"Okayokay!"

Overall. I had extremely fun time. Then I asked, if they were still mad at me, writing their names down, "dah tak dah". hahahaha! Fun ah fun.

Walked to boonlay. Otw, we ate the lunch given. And there's one point, both Fee and myself called Shiykin's name, same time, same moment, out of the blue. Everyone bursted out laughing. And on the pavement, MANS♥ walked in a row :D

I'm a happy kid now.

i promise.

2008-11-23T20:06:00.003+08:00

"Tell him tell him I need him. Tell him I love him. It'll be alright."

I'm shivering like hell now. My nose is running, haha. Running nose lah. All thanks to this on and off fever. Screw my weak body lah. Mum bought supplements, but I don't like it, at all, period. I think my family is irritated hearing me sneeze every 2-5 seconds. And coughing every now and then. To add on, I'm having bloody moodswing. Power gedegak ah sial -.- Salute ini badan -.- Let me eat first, then eat my medicine, for the third time, and start updating about yesterday.

Done! And it's now 2055.

Kay, I was blogshop hopping just now [and it's 2155 now], I need some time for myself, to look around for things that might be eye-catching, 'cause my wardrobe need some new apparels, but, my bank is currently, short of cash, I think. 'Cause I haven't check it yet. And I don't want to travel to collect my cloths and stuff, 'cause it's freaking had to find any blogowner from BL/JW lah -.- And if I was to go shopping myself, I don't have any companion, and I doubt I would have the time to. Enough about shopping lah, most of my money has gone to topping up EZ link card and on food. EZ link? Aku top-up, abg aku kasi abis. Aku top-up, abg aku kasi abis. Bile dia kasi abis lah aku kene top-up.

Kay enough lah. Okay, I ate my medicine already, trice, but this bloody sickness hasn't go away, maybe a little. I'm not sneezing and coughing every few second, but my nose is still blocked, and I'm having sore throat now. I'm sick of being sick, get me? Sigh. I want to get well soon, but my body refuse to. If I'm still sick tomorrow, maybe I'm not going of dance practice and stay home, to rest. Or going but not dancing/not active. Let see how thing goes.

Okay, the every-few-second-sneezing has officially started, again. Asshole! I want a change of nose -.- And my left eye is red plus watery. Okay, enough crap, going update now -.-

Was otp with Mamat the night before yesterday, till around four in the morning. Like, wth. And he asked me to accompany him to Commonwealth (sp?), to mainly watch him play soccer lah. His match suppose to start at 0930, but we woke up at 0900. Still, delydaly. Took cab there. That bloody uncle, dropped us at Dover instead. Both of us were totally clueless, so we just dropped there la. Calling calling, dapat tau lagi 2 MRT station. Stupid uncle. Dah jalan jauh, beh turunkan tempat salah. So, had to train there. Top-up EZ link, I just top-up the last time siak! Ass brother -.- Reached there, calling calling again, they have yet to reach, so we had breakfast at LJS. Kecoh. I only ate the one of the bread, and I'm full. Mamat called Hafiz [not my friend la!] up, and asked him to finish my food up.

Mat: Eh kenyang sial. Berminyak siak nih bende. Ape bende uh nih?
Mat: Oh, Mary Brown eh?
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Mary Brown? Hash (sp?) Brown la sial!
(*laugh)
Me: Mary Brown ape binatang siak? Sejak bile Hash jadi perempuan siak? hahahaha!

I couldn't stop laughing siak. Pagi-pagi, dah kecoh. Padahal dua org jek siak. Walked to the field and I watch them play. Super dy duper hot weather, can? I was like sweating. Pity them, having to buy drinks every now and then, so I bought big bottle of 100plus, and within 3 minutes (?), finish liou ler -.- Reached Jurong around 1400+hour. Dropped at central, took forms from CC and head back home. Touched up a little, and dad drove us to Makwak's. Then Abah drove us Ikea. I was surveying for things that I might consider buying, when I start to revamp my room. Got some ideas already. I was being bullied by little kiddos, Rusyadi and Danish lah. Pull me, run around Ikea, and I mean it. Run a-round, in circles. Tiring I tell you -.-

(1) My favourite little cousin :]

(2) Danish macam dalam jail -.-

(3) Tangan Dinie besau siak -.-

(4) Bed frame BODOH!

hahahahaha. Then Abah drove us to Tanglin Mall. Ucu asked me to be his "personal assitant", took video of those kiddo's playing with the form. Banyak minah saleh [mat saleh peh pompan], sume case jakun gile babi siak. Kelakar siol. Umur-umur kite, tapi main form macam kat negeri sendiri takde snow siak, sampai terbaring2 sume. Kelakar siak.

Abang Idad: Attention seeker siak nih org putih.

They were like purposely standing in front of the camera [not mind la, those huge camera]. Waited for Abg Faizal to reach, and we had late dinner at Teban. Then Wee sent us home. Reached home, straight to bed. Pancit.

As for today, I woke up, sick. I dinished up a box of tissue, like hell I tell you. I eat but cannot taste anything. Lagi kau. And Hafiz ain't picking me up tomorrow, 'cause most probably he has to work. And Tuesday I have to report at CPS at 0735 hour. And that means I have to wake up freaking early man. Asked around, they tell me to take 181 or 185, but Idk where to stop. I know, I need to explore the world, Singapore, or maybe, Jurong -______- I'm a family person, go everywhere got transport thru and fro one.

I finally get to hear someone's voice. But he didn't call me thou, neither did I call him. Mat called me up, and he put us in the same line, but I wasn't allowed to talk. Grrr! -.- So yeah. He's MIA-ing. Mamat have been talking about him since yesterday, stop it siak. Kay fine, I'm out of idea what to write already. And I'm otp with Mamat -.- So yeah. Good morning 'cause it's 0124 now.

Ps: I'm not in the mood to reply any text messages. Text me if it's really important, or elses, just ring me up.

Bye ah bye. Malas nak read thru, so, pandai2 ah. haha.

hairy issue

2008-11-21T22:49:00.005+08:00

Where are you?

Mum just got home. Yeah, but boooo. She told me, we're going out tomorrow at 2PM. wth? I planned to wake up late, 'cause I'm totally worn out today. Sigh. Let me update about yesterday first lah eh.

Yesterday, woke up at 0715, bath, got ready and then only I remembered, meeting at 0900. I thought it as at 0800. 'Cause used to it already, waking up at that time, to go for tarian. So, I wasted my one hour watching MTV, Disney Channel. That preview for some fashion show channel, has ended. I like to watch it, like, cool uh to me. Okay, anyway, head school for meeting. Discuss discuss discuss, talk here and there, and everything is settled, by one and half hour, since everyone has done their part, atleast most, so everything went smoothly. Then we walked around school, to make the routes for night walk. They were story telling about sky camp in between, and it freaks me out a lil', but Marzie took this thing [totally forgot what it's called], and it makes some baby lullaby song continuously, and it freaks me out to. So, scary, like background music to a scary movie, don't like, don't like.

After everything meeting has ended, joined Jil and Kakak at the canteen. Finish up the decoration, and we went up to decorate our plain noticeboard. It was so "shiny". I have to go rather early. Asked dad to fetch me, right in front of school. Dad drove us to IMM. Had lunch at Bagus. Ate my all time favourite rosemary chicken spaghetti. Then mum entered Giant -____- Bought mainly, nothing. That bought fries from LJS and dad drove us home. My little brother's aggregate is lower that me, hahahahaaah! Yessa! But he still managed to go to Express stream. So, officially as from now, at home, I'm the top scorer from PSLE -.- Kay, itu sungguh merapek. And hell, mum told me, just now, that she's buying little brother notebook! Like wth, I only got handphone, with my own money okay, and my mum is buying little brother notebook, wth siak. Unfair oi! I'll kill him ah. P6, I asked for new handphone only, kau macam nak rak, kene pakai duit sendiri, Adik, asked once, mum made up decision already. Kau

-_________________________-"

Bengang jap. So, reached home, went online for awhile. Met Hafiz a the void deck. Pass him something, cey. I freaking pity him can? Haiya. What's up with girls this days? Tsk. So, didn't chat much, 'cause I need to get dress. Was so fucked up knowing my EZlink is with my second brother, I had on a very freaking long face from BL to Centerpoint. Imagine? Still pissed off, and I have to wait like dum outside Robinson. Wawak was invited for this Idkidc what thing, so she asked mum along, and mum asked me along. First brother has to wait outside, while we shopped inside. LOL. Mum and Wawak bought bed sheet each. Nice can? -.- I bought something, and a tube. Looked for shoe, not interested, tees, not interested. Imran Ajmain was there. No biggy thou. Then, had lunch at MacD. One craving down, strike off from my list. Mostly my craving is, food -.- So then, trained back home. Had some mf problem, and it got me pissed off again. Blue tooth Wawak songs, and she asked me to be her "model" from her make-up exam or something. Sorry wak, I have to time on January. School + studies + tarian = tired/no time. Sorry aites. That's about it for that day. I got home and straight jump to bed. Too shagged for a day.

As for today, woke up at 0715, again. Head school for, tarian, predictable much? Was told that tarian is extended till four -.- Ended tarian at one, that continued to practice for Sec One Orientation. Botanic dance, same step, totally different position. Since most of 5/8 knows the step already, we are already finishing the step, brush up a little and we can start on Sec One Promotion day. Then Chinese new year, and after which, I'll step down from Malaydance. Saddening or what? Plus, Kakak told us that they will be dancing Bali style for Teachers' Day. I want! But, I can't! Sigh. Sad uh. Very. Reached home around six. One more craving down baby, kfc, again. Then started on my second proposal. Another 3 games. I was totally tired/sleepy while doing it, why? 'Cause I didn't have my afternoon nap -.- I was alone at home till around 2000. Both eldest and elder brother came back from work. That was about it.

Going out tomorrow, and Sunday too. And Monday, tarian till four again. Wakau. I need a time out -_____- And, on Monday after tarian, Hafiz going to "fetch" me and he promise me strawberry milk tea plus "bendebende" inside. hahaha. Cey! Baik! And chatted with Hafiz just now. About someone. hahaha. He's boys point of view, and my point of view, don't click. We ended up talking about him ex, and cannot differentiate between us both ah? Don't compare me with her, 'cause we're so different I tell you. From head to toe.

And I want my hair to grow in a blink of an eye, seriously. 'Cause I want a very long hair. But I'm cutting mine soon, when I can just find a time to do so. I want my hair to grow long. I've thought of cutting it short, but I cannot, tarian issue, plus short hair reminds me of my ex, which wanted me to keep long hair, 'cause I have short hair when I'm with him. Those days. Plus I want my hair to be longer that Jil, 'cause she rebonded her hair and now our hair has the same length. Not fair, cheating! If only back in Sec 2 I didn't cut my hair freaking short, my hair will be effing long now -.- Haiyaaaaaaaa.

iny.

2008-11-19T22:53:00.003+08:00

"tonight i'm falling & i can't get up, i need your loving hands to come & pick me up..."

Currently my mouth is munching on potato chips. ROFL. I ate too many fattening stuff today. I had kfc for lunch, but gave the mashed potato to syayie, jiliah to share. And then I bought another meal, this time, shared together, with cheese fries. I drank two cup (?) of bubble tea. One, I bought myself, the other one, someone, I think my eldest brother, bought it for me. Strawberry Ice Blended, masam sial. -_______________- Haven't had any rice yet, makan lagi. Kau, I'm putting on weight, cannot sey. 'Causeeeeeee, I think I'm already heavy, for my size. Idc lah. I want loss weight, but I have rather big appetite, how eh?

Had tarian today. Predictable much? Like I've mention, it's mainly for the other group. And kakak made someone cried, I feel totally awfully bad, 'cause I feel like I'm not doing my job as a v.chair to make sure that everyone is confident with the routine. Aiyaiyai. But managed to comfort her. Practice was extended, since it rains. Took thumbdrive from jil's and printed pictures and some documents at central. And it rained again, before we even left jil's block. So, stucked at central. Bought bbt, then I wanted to have lunch at kfc. And it was still raining, and we talked and discuss about, tarian -________- Then, I bought another meal and we shared. Called cikgu, and ask/tell her some stuff. It was already late, and the rain already subside, so we got out butts out of that icy cold place. Cey. I went back home, while they accompany syayie home, to get more funds, to buy more things for BD's noticeboard.

Reached home, wash up. Did sudoku, and fell asleep. Woke up, 'cause hafiz missed call me, he said he accidentally pressed -.- When back to bed, and woke up, magrib. When online, and I'm currently, very bored.

Hand in my first proposal already yesterday, got to know M cannot open the file, so have to send her again. She said, so far, my proposal is one of the best one. *clapclapclapclap* Frankly, my first time writing, real proposal, those proposal for English, hantam bocai only. Yeahyeah, I have to find atleast 3 more games, any ideas? o.0

And I love my dad, my mum tooo! Eh, lapar -.-

!@#$%^&*()

2008-11-17T23:12:00.008+08:00

I know. My gerobok messy, but I like. Mum said she wanted to throw it out. I won't allow it to happen man, 'cause one, I have already read or at least, flipped through ALL those books, very sayang, and two, it brings colours to my room, furthermore, I have decided to paint my room purple and white. So yeah, I'll start it soon, no more procrastinating Natasha! And oh, I've update about my Friday and Saturday, just that I totally forgotten what I did on Saturday, stm much? -.-

I have to go back to school tomorrow with Mum in the morning, when I can actually sleep till very late. I know, like wth. All thanks to that mf shorty. I've struggle through my lower sec. days, I've improve a lot from primary school, and I was elated to receive the scholarship. I know, I deserve it very much. Now, you're telling me, you're not going me my $1000++ because "Natasha's attitude is very bad". You have the cheek to tell that to my Mum, when I've been v. good and have v. clean record. You didn't want to give me that letter, you refuse to accept my form, you were missing when I tried to find you, and said I've a very bad attitude? You mumbled, and expect me to understand? Rather than standing, looking like I'm getting scolded, I would rather sit and read my storybook, make enough sense? And now you're telling my Mum, it's my fault. You told my Mum, you called me up to attend both the ceremony, eh, prove it you called ah, 'cause I didn't recieve any phonecall! You don't even know my number! You called, ahahaha, you must be joking right? All thanks to you, Mum and myself have to go back to school tomorrow, and get back all my money. Kalau sikit takpe siol. I actually didn't cared much, I didn't thought she would dare too, but eh, 2 bursary award ceremony, a lot of money siak. And you told my Mum you are not going to recommend me to any other bursary award etc etc etc, eh thanks ah eh! So much for being a good "role model" in school. Dah tua an, otak buat fikir ah. Duit bukan boleh buat main siol. Banyak pulak tu. Duit boleh dipetik dari pokok per dengar-dengar free flow kau nak burn duit aku. _|_ Pissed of giler!

Kay done. I'm seriously fuming like !@#$%^&*(), no joke, money at stack. haha. With that kind of money, I can at least lessen my parents budden, now what? So much for using that money to buy my school books and uniform for '09 eh. Unless you're telling me you getting everything for me ah! cilake tol. Gerammmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

So much for being mad, 3 days straight with 3 different people, spoil my favourite number only! -.-

I had "somehow", fun yesterday. Around 1700 hour, Mum was in her room, when I was in my, chatting away, when she texted me, asking if I wanted to drop by town to look at the lights, I was like, anything ah. So around 1830 hour, I did some washing up, and got dress. Waited for Dad at the carpark, for him to fetch us. Everyone, exept my second brother, was there. So, Dad drove us to town. I was yawning away, I didn't have my nap man. Mum was being very, unpredictable, I should put it in a nice way. I asked her, where did she want to go, she said, Taka. So, we had to walk one round from where Dad parked the car, and when we reached Taka, Mum didn't enter the building, so I thought, might be the other one. So we walked further down, and yet again, she didn't enter, turned to her, she said, Wisma. I was giving her that very impatient look. So walked further down and I don't like crowded place, very stuffy -.- Entered Wisma, and guess what, walked around the first level only, and Dad was left far behind, so I have to wait, and Mum walked ahead, out of the building, with little brother. Tu part aku mengamuk gile. She didn't tell me where she actually heading! Then she said, she wanted to go Far East, -___________- So walked so more. Had out dinner, and little brother bought slip-on shoe for himself. By the time, after all those in out in out, shake it all about, most of the shop already close. Kau, so much for shopping -.- And I saw this one cute boy, but his hair is a turn off man -.- So, then Dad drove us back. I was very bored lah, didn't enter any shop at all you know -.- Just walk around like that je, puas hati walk around the house kan. Both brings to no good at all.

Instead of driving us straight back home, Dad decided to have the car washed. Baikkkk! We watch the car being wash from the outside, like as if watching movie eh. Took so long. Then when only I thought that's it for the day, Dad went to get his tank filled. That were the fun part came. Mum turned on the radio, 98.7FM, and it was playing Just The Girl by Click Five [I think that's the title lah], and little brother and myself was singing out loud like nobody's business. We purposely sang in high and low pitch and laughed like nobody's business. Funny! Then I heard 1234 by Plain White T's, which is my current blog song. And after that track, some weird song, apelagi, little brother and myself was immitating the voice and repeating the phrase over and over again, till Mum got irritated. hahaaha! That was funny. But I got hucked up with that weird phrase that night. But I forgotten already what. hahahaha. Reached home, when online, and chatted uh. Offline rather late, sleep only for 3 hours.

As for today, I dragged myself out of bed at 0700 hour. Yes, 0700 hour, not 0730 or 0715, 'cause new rule "Lambat, 10 round" Check-check, rule tak jalan. We couldn't use both school hall and riflerange since it's used for sky camp, no choice, but danceroom. Sempit gile! I miss music room ah! -___________- So today's training is mainly for the "selendang" dancers, and I'm one of them. Wednesday will be for "payung" dancers. Training freaking tiring. And finally, I find thing fair-er, after distributing the job, but I'm still in-charge of texting people and stuff, and my credit is, low low low low low low low low lah! And oh, kakak said this one phrase, that got me laughing rolling on the floor, funny, but cannot recall, too long. And kakak fell on her butt, o.0 hahahahaahah! Itu funny gile, right smack in the center of the room lagi. Kay, kakak, if you're reading, no offence. Toooo funny, must share-share with the world. Takley loket. hahahahaha. And I was really hyper, till I was labelled "monyet", Syayie was really loud today, and she's the "white tiger", hahaha! Kerje makan org. And Lyn "berok", for what reason? Fun? Hahaha.

Lyn: Eh, white tiger to dari serawak kan?
Me: *look at syayie* Tak lah! Zoo keeper yang kene makan tu yang dari serawak, bukan tiger tu!
& we bursted out laughing. Confy gile siak Lyn. hahaahahah!

After tarian, changed to new set of cloth in school and Mum asked me to meet her up at Jp. Saw Faiz and Raudah went I was going down the escalator to meet Mum and Wawak at posb bank. If I know, I would bring my money along! Kay, no need -.- Pat bawah rumah ada pondok posb taknak gi -.- And guess what? I was sitting on the sit, and the old uncle next to me was godeh-godeh-ing his phone. I didn't really cared much until his wife (?) came and sat next to me. She took out her specs, put it on, and that old uncle, bring up his phone to a level that I can actually see it, iPhone ehhhhhhhhhhh! Kau. Jealous oi. Bu, old man got iPhone, kakak got what sey, got what? -.-

Then we had lunch at Banquet. I saw some familiar faces. I saw Aul's sister and Mum, didn't confront them, macm segan gitu. Then I saw someone's ex. Forever arrogant. No use smiling dok. -.- I texted someone telling him I saw his ex lah, haha. The last time I came with Mum and Wawak, saw his friend, now saw his ex, bile eh ... Kay no. Then, when we're about to go off, saw someone related to me/us. Kay, rather close, but Idk her name. But I call her Nyayie (something), which obviously, I forgotten -.- So, I have to sit and listen to them talk.

Nyayie: Ni siape nih?
Me: Natasha.
Mum : Anak saya nyanyie.
Nyanyie: Oh, dah besar dia. Dah lawar dia.
Me: *blush* Takde lah. Mane ada.

Ceyceycey. Oh, when I was walking out from Banquet, I heard people wistling/swit-ing. Muke aku nak kesah? I didn't until they shouted my name, kang dah terturn 180 degree. hahaha. It was Aul and Nas, confirm meeting his Mum la -.- Wave hello/goodbye. And walk away. I have to follow them to Citibank, for some banking stuff again. Tak abis-abis. Then Wawak paid some bills, and we walked to interchange. I thought we're going home, about to board 242 dah pun, but this siblings ah, decided to walk around the boring pasar malam, to look if there's anything they can buy for this upcoming family BBQ. I want meet someone over at ECP, the last time (twice tak salah) tak dapat, 'cause he went few days before I did. And Idk if he can, 'cause on the 8th they already went ECP -.- Ha, jumpe pun bukan bbl.

Walked around, I wanted to buy gule tarik, Mum didn't allow too. Sedih siak. Favourite dok. But, it's okay, it's alright la. Some other day. Then bus back home. Once I reached home, wash up, did sudoku, and fell asleep. Woken up by Mum shouting and screaming. All thanks to that bloody hell ah. Haiya. Fed up siak. But never mind. I hope I'll get back all my money to my acct again la. 'Cause it's a hell lot of money okay. Bloody hell. Troublesome siak.

Edited:
Ehhhhhhhhhhhh. Mamat call ah. Asking about S. Idkw, but macam, find problem gitu. And last part dia kureng.
"kay lah sha, mat nak tanya pasal S jek. telanjut(?), berbual pulak. kay lah sha. pape msg someone"
Dengan pantasnye aku jawap "Ehkeh kau. hahahaha" and we laughed, then that's the end. Ppd aku laaaaaaaa -.- Tsk. And what's up with that? hmm. Idc, but Idw them to find trouble, can?

Edited, again @ 1:43AM:
Ehhhh. Just hung up the phone, with? Someone. Imma happy kid now. Happy happy happy. After so long. hehehe. But he asked about S, kau. Men siak dengar name dia. What ever it is, I'm a happy kid yeah :DDDDDDDDDDDDD I'm browsing through his pictures, and I'm smiling all the way. Cey, shasha. hahaha. Kay, now I made up my decision already. hahahaha!

Someone put me in the freezer? 'Cause he's to hot that I'm melting.

2008-11-17T01:13:00.004+08:00

There's only one thing t(w)o do three words fo(u)r you;
i love you.
(i love you)
Ther'es only one way t(w)o say those three words
and that's what i'll do.
i love you.
(i love you)

I heard this song when I was on my way back from town with my family. I fell in love with it. Tried to find this song, to no avail. How saddening. I'm still very lazy to update about my two very great day, about Friday and Saturday. Saved as draft. Once I finish updating about it, I'll publish it. It's still about Friday, I know. I've always so much to update, 'cause my life is great. I'm a family person you see. Tarian tomorrow, my credit is running very low, and I'm pissed off. By somethings. Atleast one is settle. Things will be extra simple, when you just admit it. Hah. What ever. I make myself clear, I hate "copy-machine". Seriously.

I want to go shopping badly. I want to bank in all my money, so I can just bring my posbcard along anywhere, 'cause I don't like bringing cash. Alahai. Very lazy lah. Plus, I'm yearning for more basic tee for myself. And I need to revamp my room. I need paint, and brushes and oh! Which reminds me of yesterday's conversation with mum.

Mum asked me, why am I so active in tarian. And I told her my reasons. She told me, very frankly, she would prefer if I'm spending my time working. I know. I would like too. Atleast I can earn some cash right? I know, mum. But one, I'm the v.chair, I can't back out. Two, I don't know if I'm that discipline. Three, who the hell is willing to take me in? hahaha. And then she asked me about me, painting my room and stuff. She told me, she going to throw away my bed+cupboard (it's connected), which is a yeah to me, 'cause I have too many cupboard in my room. And she said that she's going to put together my brothers' old bed frame, and put it in my room. I was happy, then I asked "is the bed joined, or side by side" and she said, side by side. I started mumbling. I don't want. What if there's "somebody" sleeping there, 'cause obviously, this room is only mine, Idw! Period. Aku dah kate aku pengecut pat hal nih. Scary oi.

Kay cut. Anyway, I want to revamp my room! Purple please :] Okay, it's late. But I'm still wide awake. I slept at around 0500 hour and woke up at 1400 hour, searching for food. hahaha. Plus, I'm addicted to sudoku, for real! -.- Okay. I'm crapping. I shall continue writing for Friday and Saturday, or change my profile, since it makes totally no sense, and doesn't have anything to do with me, I think, hah.

Okay bye!

Ps: I'm a nice person, if you're. If I talk in a nice way, please do in return. I have my limits. Thanks!

surveys

2008-11-16T03:56:00.001+08:00

I miss thailand, boleh? I miss the food especially.
Look where my leg is [wearing jeans] and my head is, far?
actually aku takut, kang dia bangun kau. hahaha.

I was actually blogging for, erm, yesterday, but chat-ed with Syayie, and I was soooooo binget that I cannot continue. Now she already offline. I'm bored, so I took this time to do the survey Shiykin tagged me. I was actually otp with fiq, but my bloody house phone ah -.-

```

Rules & regulations :-

1) Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things/ habits/ little known facts about yourself.
2) People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 10 weird things/ habits/ little know facts as well as state the rules clearly.
3) At the end, you need to choose 10 names to be tagged & list their names.
4) No tag back.

1. I sleep a lot, at times too much that it gives me headache. (predictable)
2. Even when I'm full, I'll still keep on munching. (predictable)
3. I can put both my feet behind my neck, right tarian girls? rofl.
4. I freaking hate creepy crawly + frogs.
5. I always deny things, good things.
6. I still respect people, even when I hate them a lot. And I know I shouldn't, Idekw.
7. Aku actually penakut.
8. I can cry easily.
9. I'll go with the flow, even if I don't like it.
10. I don't like to spend my parents money, even if they say "you can get whatever you like".

People to do the survey: Anyone lah.

Kay bye. Nak sleep. And oh, Nenek dah keluar hospital :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

2008-11-15T20:31:00.003+08:00

Perangai kentang goreng kan? hahaha. Every time, I reread, I'll laugh/smile in front of the laptop. Idkwl. How tired/bored/sad/sick I am, he never fails to make me laugh, thanks okay Fiz! :] We're very random, so maybe that makes our everyday conversation fun, Idk. lol.

I had a really fun time, yesterday, and today too.

Yesterday, tarian was alright. Attendance improved. I'm glad that all came, except for Naresha that is away. No new step learned, which made it rather boring session. Everyone have to die die memories and everything by Monday, 'cause "Not perfect, 20 rounds around the hall!".

After tarian, I bused to JP. Meet up with mum. Try to find Wawak. Ate at Banquet. Shop a little, finally bought my conditioner, hello beautiful hair. hahahaha! Then Abah came, to pick us up. Drove us to Jurong West lame. Idk what they did. To young to understand. ahaha. They sign some documents and stuff at income, for what? I have no idea. And there's this one conversation, that made me cry laaaaa! I told you I'm sensitive went it comes to family. By all means ah. Even by talking about something not sad, I can cry -.- It's about o'level. About me having to trash/get higher/"win"/whatever/ her. I did it once, it was a very lucky one I might say. But this time, Idk if I can make it. She's the study type [atleast that's what my parents/her parents have been saying, but she told me otherwise], I'm the last minute type. She's the, pay attention type, for me, it all depends. And all the subj. she's take, is different from mine. Which puts her at a higher chance to get a better results. She gets all her fav. subj. combination, as for me, only god knows how I feel about my subj. combination. To hint, if I can start all over again, I won't choose this school so, atleast I have a better chance with a better subj. that I actually enjoys. So, I teared. Thinking about how my results my come out, in about one year from now. Pray hard and work hard, Sha. Abah is supporting you, yeah! 'Cause he took triple science back then too. Wow, finally, somebody understands me. Yeah -.- !

Since it was raining, we ran back to the carpark, where Abah parked his van. Ran under the rain. Woohoo, but now, I'm having slight fever.

Abah dropped us at Makwak's and we stayed till rather late. Wee drove us back. And oh, I love one boy very much! Can melt I tell you. Kay no. Actually, two boys uh. Cute to the maximum. I melt every time I see them. We always have fun. I adore both very much. Seriously.

There you go! My most favourite, lovable, funny, cute boys.

In blue: Nabhan Rusyaidi bin Nizam? [kay, not sure of my uncle's name. lol]

I love it when he goes, yaya-ing away like as if he knows the world. And he's very cute. No, seriously. Example? Rusyaidi and Wee [Danish dad, my uncle laaa] was talking about something, and I over heard a conversation. Ultra cute I tell you.

Rusyaidi: blablabla.. Wee ada battery.
Wee: Battery? Abih adik takde battery?
Rusyaidi: Adik? Adik takde. (*walk away)
Wee: Battery wee pat mane?
Rusyaidi: Pat sini (*point to the heart)
Me: hahahahaha.

&&& in red, with gameboy at his armpit (hahaha): Md. Danish bin Ramlee. Hafiz thought that Danish was a girl, because of his hair. I told you I like his hair, a lot. And oh, one time, I have to carry both up at one go, mak kau, boleh patah tangan aku.

&
&
&

My top favourite. I just love it when he goes "kakakkkkkkkkkkkk!" Cute giler!

Raya pic fyi.

Adorable right? (raya pic, again)

As for today, I think I did nothing. Cannot remember. LOL. 'Cause I'm blogging this on 17Nov. LOL. All I know is that I was on the phone with Fiq late night, and Mamat was nenongnenong. And he sounded freaking funny. hahaha. Plus Syafiq punk asked me about someone, sedih pur? Dah lupe orang katekan. Eh, I am totally clueless what I did on Saturday -________________-" So yeah, finally, updated -.-

enough is enough.

2008-11-13T23:34:00.009+08:00

I hate silence.

period. to me, silence is my worse enemy. by all means in any way. i hate silent nights. i'll start imagining the most worst things ever. especially, ghost. i hate ghost even thought i know, it's only setan playing around with me. i know that i have to be strong and stuff, but i just will start imagining. i hate silence 'cause i can hear every single thing, and my room. never mind. let just say, i know i don't "live" in my room alone. 'cause every night, there will be furniture being push and pull around. gdi, in a room? furniture? every night? hah. but i cannot do anything about it, as long as it didn't disturb my life (badly), then i won't too. and that's the reason why i sleep with the TV on.

next, i hate silence because something wrong will alway happen, when there's silent between anything, lets put it, between two people. people keep mum when they fight. they try to prevent each other. i prefer, people cursing me straight in the face, even thought it hurts, rather than running away, just because they don't like something/anything. 'cause saying anything and everything straight up to me, no matter how harsh, i'll realise my mistake, maybe, or straighten you out. it hurts emotionally, and maybe physically [if it does go to that extent]. i'll get over it pretty fast. it can be cure within days? weeks maybe.

but (!) silent hurts me mentally. all those negative thoughts. it really kills me softly and slowly. it's rather predictable why, but i choose not to believe in it. and i don't even know why. i can just say that phrase which is made up of two words with total of seven letters, i will make sure i do. i just want to make you feel, how god damn hurting this is, but revenge ain't my game no more. 'cause i believe in karma. but i'll be f happy, if what you get in return is one tight slap from someone bigger. 'cause for f sake, this ain't the first time. how good am i? ha, i know. you just can't see all those good deeds, 'cause why? all you bother about it to find other's flaws, criticise them and that will make you feel on top of the world, but sadly hunny, this world ain't yours baby. disappointed? how saddening. not (!) you need to wake up 'cause "you don't own this bloody world" remember? i've change. thanks to you. i appreciate your "kindness", to change me to a better person. i prefer to think it, that way. but now, you need to f change your f damn attitude. 'cause you f backstabber, won't go far in this f world with that f attitude.

ahhhhh. sorry, but it feels soooooo god damn good now. but still, my heart is still hurting, and idkw la.

and another silence, between me and fiq. no more night calls. no one else for me to throw tanturm/show attitude at. haha. but i think, i went toooo far already. but the last time we fought, i don't even know what went wrong. he suddenly cut me off. and it totally pissed me off that i refuse to give in.

and someone ain't texting me. no more smiling in front of my half dead hand phone already. i wait, you wait, forever waiting.

credits running low. and that asshole fiz called hours ago, saying he's going online, korek pantat kau la! "smackdown you then you know".

[edit]

i feel like going for a shopping spree/movie-ing, anyone? o.0 but right, i'm a all packed with a lot of things. tomorrow itself will be a long day. that asshole called me at 2148 hour, but only online at 1210 hour, :@

tarian sini sane.

2008-11-12T18:06:00.008+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Kay, it has been some time since I've updated. Busy + malas = Bulas. Hahahaha (!) Kay. That's so funny, to me lah. Nevermind. Tons of thing had happen, in a very short period of time. Actuallykan, I still don't feel like updating you know. 'Cause there's so much to update about, and thinking about it, I'm lazy to type it all out, but why I usually update, because blog is a place, where I keep all my memories, my everyday, so every little thing, I can read it all over again, in future. Recieve a text message, seriously, it brings down my mood to blog, but oh well ....... Lets make it quick, 'cause I need to rush everything up -.-

On the November Nineth,

Kakak Julie, Syayie and Jiliah, got the very golden opportunity, to see me in a very, unglamorous way. I was sleeping, when I recieved a call from Kak Julie. I thought it was a wake up call, so I waited for her to hung up. Then I continued sleeping, because I freaking thought my alarm haven't rang. There you go, she called again, I hung up, dengan penuh confident. Then, my mum entered and she said, "Girl, bangun. Kawan kau dah sampai." Mangkuk! Dengan pantasnye, I grabbed my towel and toiletries, and wrapped the towel it around my face, and walked to the toilet like one drunken kid. hahaahah! I swear, it was really embrassing. 'Cause I was in my yellow night dress, walking like Idk la. Just imagine lah. Funny. I laughed at myself in the toilet like nobody's business. Bathed, and asked my mum to get my cloths. Bijak an! I know -.- And my mum gave me another night dress. Baru bangun tidur, pakai baju tidur -.- So, make-up make-up, gedebak-gedebuk, and and and, my room, messy to the core! With make-ups on the floor, pillows everywhere, fake hair everywhere -.- Upside down, left to right you know they make my room. [kay singlish] So, after everyone have changed, I swept the floor. Fuhhlermak. The dirt, like as if I have never swept my floor for months. Hair everywhere. Thanks to the fake hair ah.

Process to the block in front of school around 1100 hour. Imagine, from 0600-1100, 5 hours in my room, they even ate in my room, drink in my room. Watch tv, baring, segala-galanya la. Okay, so after leaving home, we waited for the bus to arrive. Only 6 student, one instructor, and one teacher, and the bus that is driving us thru and fro, is those normal huge bus.

In the bus, Kak Julie realised, she forgotten to bring the cd along. So, everyone panicked. Asked the uncle to u-turn, but he already entered highway. So Kakak tried to call her parents to bring the extra cd along, and extra slipper, since hers, haha! Then things is settled, we head Teck Whye straight. We're still, not at ease. Kakak's/Jil's parents, whom 3/5 BD-ians call Mama&Papa, have yet to reach. Once they reached, apelagi, jump for joy uh. I admit, I made one obvious mistake -_______________- Kay, no point pushing the blame, I blame myself, 'cause I wasn't confident of myself, lesson learn Sha. So, after performance, I was sweating like !!@#%^&*(, standard, ShaSha. So, my make-up is all wash down by my perspiration. Despite that, we still camwhored.

Messy? That's after performance, before? Worse still, but no picture. Lol. So, after that very tiring day, I slept till around six plus. Mum woke me up, to got dress to visit granny, but I was soooooo restless, I refuse. I said I didn't want to follow, but went I heard the door close, I ran to the door, and saw my second brother. I thought he wanted to go out. So, looked out the window, saw my second brother, in dad's car. Per lagi. Bad mood ah. Mum waved at me, I walked away. Entered mum room, saw dad making one round at the carpark. Mum called, I hung up. Why? She left me alone at home (!!!) At night lagi. So, mum asked me to quickly get dress, but I tried to solve sudoku, and tears roll down my cheek. Idklah. When it comes to family, I'm very ultra super sensitive -.- First brother went up, and came into my room, at that point of time, I thought he was about to scream at the top of his lungs, cursing me because I made mum feel like ______, actually Idk how she feel lah. 'Cause in the past, first brother and myself, cannot get along. We can quarrel, sampai tangan jalan, throwing the nearest things that he can grab hold of. All those things, he do it on me la, not I do to him, I still respect him as my elsest brother, see, good sister. Hah! Kay, so much for the past. But that day he didn't. He talked freaking nicely eh. I was actually applying powder, tears roll down, and I wiped it with the sponge. Step covercover. He waited for me to lock the door, and we walked down together.

Stayed it the hospital for like 2 to 3 hours. Had dinner at Ayer Raja, and it's my little brother's turn to merajuk. Kay, for the first time, me and first brother talked a lot. I mean it. Oh, second brother didn't join us for dinner, he headed town with his friend, Nudd. haha. His friends all have funny nicknames, and Idkw. Head home, and waited for midnight.

On the November Tenth,

By the strike of midnight, I wished Mohd. Azri happy 15th b'day. Heartpain you know, he acted blur. So much for being nice. "I tau lah. I kan siape." Member marah. ahahaha. So, I fall aslept rather late.

Woke up at 0730 hour. For tarian again. Tarian was alright. It was a very tiring training and it's held at the riflerange. Panasin! And my brain have to store like, 3 different dance routine, for 3 different equally big event. But one major event uh. hahaha. Head home straight after tarian.

On the November Eleventh,

Nothing to do at home, but just slackkkkkk -.- Slack until cannot slack already. All I did was eat, watch tv, eat, baring, eat, talk to mum, eat, baring some more till my mum said "kau melengkar jek. nanti dah abis holiday, kau gemuk baru tau" and all I did was to smileeeeee. hahaha. And one very creepy incident happen -________- Creepy crawly. haha.

I wanted to eat [rofl], and I opened the cabinet, looked in, and I saw dead small roach in a bowl, with my eyes looking away, I pick the bowl up, and threw it in the sink. I didn't dare to look in the cabinet anymore. So, took a bowl that's just washed, from the sink. After eating, I asked my dad, if he threw the roach away. I was happy/overjoy/and anything that is possitive you can think of, when I saw that the bowl all washed. "Ayah dah buang tu lipas eh? Kay best!" I wanted to wash my bowl, picked up the sponge, looked into the container were the sponge was, and I jumped back, ran out of the kitchen, when I was the damn small roach in the container. "Dah uh yah! Ak [kak] tak nak cuci pinggan uh! Ayah cuci uh!" *walk to the living room. And I heard my dad laughing in the toilet. Chis kebab daging!

Kay, that was the only happenning part that day. hahaha. Didn't bother to go out, 'cause 5 days straight of tarian, it really is very tiring to the maximum! So, that's the reason why, I didn't online.

On the November Twelveth,

Which is obviously today. Tarian again today. In the hall. I thought I was late, but nooooooooooo. So, practice was as per norm. Attendance very poor. Naresha and Lyn went for vacation/family outing, Didi was having fever, Ziana, idk lah eh. Rosnani, last minute baru bilang cannot come. Wahhhhhh! So, I have to push them. Talking about pushing, I have to push ________, and I tell you. Can ah can. But, haiyaaa. Nevermind. So, in the middle of training, we tried to help Kakak, being the "puppet", 'cause she's stress out about the Sec One orrientation/Sec One CCA promotion day, but we really had fun. We jumped, we made a fool or ourselves. And we don't look like malay dancers, but banggra (sp?) dancers. I laughed till I cried okay. Funny! After few practices, head home.

I was about to enter the lift, when I saw my little brother. Asked him to accompany me to central to buy lunch. I thought of being a very go elder sister, and treat him, whatever he likes, but, malangnye, buat perangai. Terus, gone sia. He shows attitude, I show mine. I took the shorter route home. Idc already la. So much for being good -.- So much for waking him up in the morning, ironing his shorts, despite myself being late already. Grrrr! And it continues at home. He wanted to use to laptop, since the computer cannot log into messenger, but you think I'll give in? rofl. That was for today.

Recieved a text message, and I have to go to school tomorrow morning. Like eh! I thought tomorrow will be the day went I rest, before having another long tarian day. So much for resting. Haiya. Nevermind. I have to finish other things up, or should I say, get started on it. So yeah. Lots more to come, soooooooon. So yeah. Till then. LOLLLLLLLLLLLL. And oh, I made new friend today. See Koi! I can make friends. But sadly, lelaki lagi. Ala, you know I know la -.-"

Kay bye. Salah sane sini, let it be laaaaa. Asalkan faham sudah. haha.